Merry Christmas!!!
As many of you know Nick has been complaining of some worsening lower back pain for a couple weeks now. The last few days, Nick's pain level has increased while he began experiencing numbness in his legs and recently pain in his right shoulder. We tried to get him to go to the ER a couple days ago, but he INSISTED he was going to get through Christmas.
At 4 AM, he got me up saying that he couldn't move his legs and that he was in excruciating pain. By 9:30 AM, we were at the ER at Mayo. You would think that with it being Christmas, things might move a little quicker...however, they seemed to move slower than ever. They admitted him to a room about 2:30 PM, and at 5 PM they took him for a full spine MRI.
They came back with the results about 7:45 PM and unfortunately they found two new tumors, one up around the neck/shoulder area, and one in the lower spine. It's not so much the shock of the news, but its the heartbreak of having to watch Nick endure the pain and suffering emotionally and physically that gets me. We don't have all the specifics yet, as we were only able to speak with the attending physician.
Hopefully, they will assemble a team tomorrow and we will need to make some decisions on how to proceed based on the info that they give us. Nick has already started steroids for pain and inflammation, and he's pretty heavily sedated from the pain meds. As of now, we are asking that there be NO visitors until we are able to get a treatment plan in place and make sure Nick is comfortable.
As you can imagine, this was not the Christmas Aaron, Nick, and I had pictured. But I will say we were able to have one of the best Christmas Eves you could ask for...lots of family, love, and laughter, just the way Nick wanted it.
This has been such a long journey. Nick said tonight that he doesn't want to be picked apart by this disease, and we pray that God is merciful in that. As news becomes available, I will update you.
In the meantime, please be in prayer for:
1. Nick's pain
2. The right treatment options
3. Wisdom for the physicians
4. Strength and peace for me and Aaron
5. ...and still, without a doubt, a MIRACLE.
I know you all are saying "Why is she just telling us!!!" but it was Christmas, and we wanted you to enjoy this time with your family as God allowed us to do yesterday. Aaron insisted on being with me every second, and was an amazing source of strength.
Nick said to tell you all he loves you.
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
Lamentations 3:22-26
With a heavy heart,
The Badidas
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Thursday December 9th, 2010 Update
We sat in the room waiting on Dr. Pirris, holding hands, quiet, our eyes closed most of the time in prayer. I know Nicks prayer was for total bone fushion....and though I also had that prayer first and foremost, I was praying for strength, prepardness and for my heart to remain thankful for whatever we were about to hear. It didn't take long once Dr. Pirris came into the room to show us the CT Scan and share with us the unfortunate news of no bone fushion. Tears filled Nick's eyes, he took a deep breath and said what now? He will have a re-check for fushion in 6 months, but until then the brace must stay on. As far as the lower back the CT did not show a tumor,(praises) but Dr. Pirris will order an MRI for a more comprehensive view and to be conclusive. There are signs of some disc degeneration which can explain some of the pain.
Can I say my heart remains thankful? Yes, because I am still able to bring my husband home, love him and spend more time with him. Is my heartbreaking for him....so much I cannot express. I will shed my tears later in my private moments, but right now, because of the strength from our Heavenly Father I am able to lift Nick up and try to encourage him through this difficult news. He is so dissapointed. Because I have been feeling weary lately, I was worried I would not have the emotional strength to support him today, but I do, thank you sweet Jesus I do! And thank YOU for your prayers to lift me up and get me ready for today.
Pastor Spike said in a recent sermon do not let this (cancer or whatever it is) define who you are. I reminded Nick of that on the drive home, do not let this brace or cancer define who you are in Christ, a survivor, a vessal being used by The Most High, a witness for His Kingdom, an amazing husband and dad. I could on and on.
We have to remain encouraged that in the eyes of the Lord, we are his beloved. Although, our flesh wants to question why, we do not want to open the door to any doubts of His plan for our lives. Honestly, that is very difficult right now. A devotion I read a while back said: Look to God for answers through His word, Bible study, and the counsel of mature Christians. We are humbled and grateful to know we have all of those resources available to us. I pray for the daily wisdom to use them.
This is a moment of darkness for us, but we will continue to cling to The Bright Morning Star, the One who gives light. Our prayer request for now would be for God's continued supernatural strength and peace to fill our hearts and homes during the holiday season, and to not let a moment go by that we do not appreciate and give thanks for.
We love and adore our family and friends, we brought each of you with us in that room this morning, you were standing on the mount with us. Thank you and blessings from our hearts.
The Badidas
Can I say my heart remains thankful? Yes, because I am still able to bring my husband home, love him and spend more time with him. Is my heartbreaking for him....so much I cannot express. I will shed my tears later in my private moments, but right now, because of the strength from our Heavenly Father I am able to lift Nick up and try to encourage him through this difficult news. He is so dissapointed. Because I have been feeling weary lately, I was worried I would not have the emotional strength to support him today, but I do, thank you sweet Jesus I do! And thank YOU for your prayers to lift me up and get me ready for today.
Pastor Spike said in a recent sermon do not let this (cancer or whatever it is) define who you are. I reminded Nick of that on the drive home, do not let this brace or cancer define who you are in Christ, a survivor, a vessal being used by The Most High, a witness for His Kingdom, an amazing husband and dad. I could on and on.
We have to remain encouraged that in the eyes of the Lord, we are his beloved. Although, our flesh wants to question why, we do not want to open the door to any doubts of His plan for our lives. Honestly, that is very difficult right now. A devotion I read a while back said: Look to God for answers through His word, Bible study, and the counsel of mature Christians. We are humbled and grateful to know we have all of those resources available to us. I pray for the daily wisdom to use them.
This is a moment of darkness for us, but we will continue to cling to The Bright Morning Star, the One who gives light. Our prayer request for now would be for God's continued supernatural strength and peace to fill our hearts and homes during the holiday season, and to not let a moment go by that we do not appreciate and give thanks for.
We love and adore our family and friends, we brought each of you with us in that room this morning, you were standing on the mount with us. Thank you and blessings from our hearts.
The Badidas
Monday, November 29, 2010
Update Monday, November 29th 2010
We went to Mayo for the first time in a while today for labs and to meet with our new oncologist Dr. Dyer, a wonderful, christian doctor, we feel blessed to have him. Very compassionate, but also very thorough. He is pleased with Nick's progress so far and although the conclusion always leads back to not many options available...we know there is one that remains... A MIRACLE HEALING! which is what I told Dr. Dyer we are believing in.
We have become very adaptable to all the changes taking place in our lives. Some really good ones, and some not so much. We have come to realize that we are going to have days that we feel like we are in the pit, and that's ok, we know our Lord is still right there with us, ready to help us out all we have to do is call upon His name.
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
The amazing (g)RACE!! I feel like this best describes our life right now. The amazing part of course is Christ and all His love and grace, that without fail, He pours over us everyday and the constant transformation in us that desires a closer walk with Him. The race is the daily things we face with this disease, the emotional ups & downs, the physical changes, doctors appts etc. and along the way we have pit stops,(we love the pit stops) Church, praying friends & family, sweet time spent together laughing, and all those little things that God fills our lives with, that don't seem so little anymore. Some days are like an easy sprint, Nick feels good, Aaron had a great day, the birds are singing, and so on! And then some days feel like a marathon, exhausting, never-ending, a lot of crying....we cherish the pit stops on those days. Let's not forget the detours, those are the days we try to take control and think we got it all figured out and then.......BAM! God has a totally different plan, sometimes we get it and sometimes we don't, we have to trust and submit that it is always a better plan because it came from our Heavenly Father. There will be a finish line and one day, in some way, we will reach it and when we do what a day that will be!!
Our next appointment will be December 9th.Very important appointment to Nick. It is with Dr. Pirris, the neurologist to get results of the CT. Nick will have a CT Scan on December 8th to check for any bone fusion. PLEASE pray for fusion. I do not think there is a day that goes by Nick doesn't talk about not having to wear that brace. I had a sweet friend say to me that she is praying for Nick to be able to take that brace off and dance. Let me just say it would be a very happy dance for us all.
Tomorrow I will have the privilege ( it IS such a privilege for me) of celebrating Nick's 53rd Birthday with him and I just want to say "thank you Lord for blessing me with this man."
and thank you friends and family for running this race with us. We will see you at the finish line!
Always In Our Hearts,
The Badidas
We have become very adaptable to all the changes taking place in our lives. Some really good ones, and some not so much. We have come to realize that we are going to have days that we feel like we are in the pit, and that's ok, we know our Lord is still right there with us, ready to help us out all we have to do is call upon His name.
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
The amazing (g)RACE!! I feel like this best describes our life right now. The amazing part of course is Christ and all His love and grace, that without fail, He pours over us everyday and the constant transformation in us that desires a closer walk with Him. The race is the daily things we face with this disease, the emotional ups & downs, the physical changes, doctors appts etc. and along the way we have pit stops,(we love the pit stops) Church, praying friends & family, sweet time spent together laughing, and all those little things that God fills our lives with, that don't seem so little anymore. Some days are like an easy sprint, Nick feels good, Aaron had a great day, the birds are singing, and so on! And then some days feel like a marathon, exhausting, never-ending, a lot of crying....we cherish the pit stops on those days. Let's not forget the detours, those are the days we try to take control and think we got it all figured out and then.......BAM! God has a totally different plan, sometimes we get it and sometimes we don't, we have to trust and submit that it is always a better plan because it came from our Heavenly Father. There will be a finish line and one day, in some way, we will reach it and when we do what a day that will be!!
Our next appointment will be December 9th.Very important appointment to Nick. It is with Dr. Pirris, the neurologist to get results of the CT. Nick will have a CT Scan on December 8th to check for any bone fusion. PLEASE pray for fusion. I do not think there is a day that goes by Nick doesn't talk about not having to wear that brace. I had a sweet friend say to me that she is praying for Nick to be able to take that brace off and dance. Let me just say it would be a very happy dance for us all.
Tomorrow I will have the privilege ( it IS such a privilege for me) of celebrating Nick's 53rd Birthday with him and I just want to say "thank you Lord for blessing me with this man."
and thank you friends and family for running this race with us. We will see you at the finish line!
Always In Our Hearts,
The Badidas
Friday, November 5, 2010
Update Friday, November 5th, 2010
Jesus says that if anyone asks for anything in his name it will be given to them so that the Son might bring glory to the Father. John 14:13
We are rejoicing and praising our King for an answered prayer. No additional tumors were seen on the CT scan. Thankfulness and joy are flowing from our hearts right now.
So why the elevation in the tumor markers? Well, we were told a couple of things. There is always the false-positive readings or a possibility of some additional active cells from the tumor on the spine. It is so hard to try and explain and yet keep it simple. Although Nick had an MRI of his spine October 18th and the reading showed no additional growth of the tumor at that time, that doesn't mean that there could not be active cells starting up again. We just have to continue to stay on top of that and pray for God to guide and protect us.
But to us that's not the headline for today.......It is all about no additional tumors and bringing glory to The Father, The Mighty Healer!! As I started typing this it occurred to me that I do not often get to deliver good news regarding Nick's health, but that I hope I always deliver the good news of Jesus and all of His mercy and grace in our lives, and that even if the news would have been different today, we would want you to know that we would still fully surrender to the Lord and put our complete trust in Him.
God says His mercies are new every morning, AMEN! Each day is a new beginning, double AMEN!! He wants us to put our troubles behind us and cling to hope of the life He gives to us. Be encouraged!!
We have learned to put God in the middle of our circle of despair and watch Him turn it into a circle of hope and joy.
You people rock!!! So much love, prayers and encouragement always being sent our way. Never does the Lord let a day go by where one (or more) of you has not called, sent a text, emailed, sent a card etc....I call those God's little nuggets of goodness and joy. THANK YOU.
May God continue to pour out His blessings over you and your families.
To Him be ALL the Glory,
The Badidas
We are rejoicing and praising our King for an answered prayer. No additional tumors were seen on the CT scan. Thankfulness and joy are flowing from our hearts right now.
So why the elevation in the tumor markers? Well, we were told a couple of things. There is always the false-positive readings or a possibility of some additional active cells from the tumor on the spine. It is so hard to try and explain and yet keep it simple. Although Nick had an MRI of his spine October 18th and the reading showed no additional growth of the tumor at that time, that doesn't mean that there could not be active cells starting up again. We just have to continue to stay on top of that and pray for God to guide and protect us.
But to us that's not the headline for today.......It is all about no additional tumors and bringing glory to The Father, The Mighty Healer!! As I started typing this it occurred to me that I do not often get to deliver good news regarding Nick's health, but that I hope I always deliver the good news of Jesus and all of His mercy and grace in our lives, and that even if the news would have been different today, we would want you to know that we would still fully surrender to the Lord and put our complete trust in Him.
God says His mercies are new every morning, AMEN! Each day is a new beginning, double AMEN!! He wants us to put our troubles behind us and cling to hope of the life He gives to us. Be encouraged!!
We have learned to put God in the middle of our circle of despair and watch Him turn it into a circle of hope and joy.
You people rock!!! So much love, prayers and encouragement always being sent our way. Never does the Lord let a day go by where one (or more) of you has not called, sent a text, emailed, sent a card etc....I call those God's little nuggets of goodness and joy. THANK YOU.
May God continue to pour out His blessings over you and your families.
To Him be ALL the Glory,
The Badidas
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