By the time we had arrived at Hospice this morning they has already up'd Nicks Morphine dose to 10mg and 5mg in between as his pain was back. By the time we left this afternoon they up'd it once more to 15mg. The last dose seemed to ease the pain a bit for him, but as you can imagine he is so groggy, dosing on and off and a little confused.
We were able to speak with the doctor today. He said he had a long talk with Nick yesterday and that Nick had been really holding back on his deep pain level. He also said Nick spoke with him about his fear of paralysis. The doctor assured him and us that they will do everything they can to keep him comfortable. We were also told they may not be able to rid Nick of all of his pain. There is that fine line of enough meds to relieve pain and still be functional and enough meds but become non-functional. I'll be honest I am nervous about the path I see.
When you look at Nick, his outward appearance looks pretty good, but there is a warfare on the inside of his body. Because his cancer is more muscular-skeletal (bone) we may not see a lot of outward change. I am wanting to prepare you all in the way we understand things.
The Hospice Doctor requested a visitation restriction be posted on Nick's door. Maximum 2 visitors in the room at a time, with a 5-10 min visit time,(unless Nick is up for longer, that was my request,not the docs). The doctor advise Nick today, if he continues to increase the meds it will become harder for Nick to stay awake and make his own decisions. His exact words were he could possibly sleep 1-2 days at a time. This whole process is just so painful watch and listen to.
But when Nick was asked who would be making the decisions if he could not, he pointed at me (Please be in prayer over that I will have complete peace if I have to make any decisions).
On a brighter note, We did have several visitors stop in today for short, but very sweet visits. A sweet sister in Christ brought me a "peace, love & care" package....truly blessed me! Those moments of sharing in prayer, laughter and hugs are priceless to us.
As this year will be winding up in a few hours, I look back with gratefulness at the transformation that has taken place in me and my life. Without the suffering would I have grown so close to my Heavenly Father? He has become my anchor, my refuge, my everything. Facing the most difficult time in my life, I know without a doubt He will carry me through.
I pray you all experience the love of Jesus like never before in 2011 and that He will pour out His blessings and favor over you like never before.
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
Happy New Year,
The Badidas
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
quick update/Thursday December 30th, 2010
Nick's pain is better! They doubled his morphine intake through the pump and he can get a blast every 8 mins of additional meds if he pushes the button on his pump. One a scale from one to ten he says his pain level is about a six right now (it was running 11). A very big praise for sure!!!
It was such a relief for me to see him resting like that. I honestly do not think he has slept well for many months. I cracked opened a window in his room, you could here the wind chime outside, it was very peaceful. I stayed for a long while, then decided it was my time to come home and get some rest, plus I am feeling a little cold coming on. I am pumping myself full of vitamin C. No time for colds!
They will be monitoring things over the next few days to see how he responds to the meds. In other words can he get up, go to the bathroom etc....He will finish radiation next Tuesday.
If you visit and see he is sleeping soundly, please do not wake him, leave a note for him or let the nurse know and she will tell him, otherwise please enjoy your time with my sweet man.
Have a very blessed day everyone and enjoy this beautiful weather God has given to us.
This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
In His Sweet and Holy Name,
The Badidas
It was such a relief for me to see him resting like that. I honestly do not think he has slept well for many months. I cracked opened a window in his room, you could here the wind chime outside, it was very peaceful. I stayed for a long while, then decided it was my time to come home and get some rest, plus I am feeling a little cold coming on. I am pumping myself full of vitamin C. No time for colds!
They will be monitoring things over the next few days to see how he responds to the meds. In other words can he get up, go to the bathroom etc....He will finish radiation next Tuesday.
If you visit and see he is sleeping soundly, please do not wake him, leave a note for him or let the nurse know and she will tell him, otherwise please enjoy your time with my sweet man.
Have a very blessed day everyone and enjoy this beautiful weather God has given to us.
This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
In His Sweet and Holy Name,
The Badidas
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, December 29th, 2010
The transition to the McGraw Hospice facility is done. A little rocky, several delays, but hopefully we will all be in sync for Nick's sake very soon. They have begun an IV drip of Morphine. Prayers please for pain relief. The steroids make Nick feel very agitated. They have already begun to wean him off of them, so hopefully that anxious feeling will start to subside.
He will complete radiation while there. They transport to Mayo for that. (McGraw is right up the street from Mayo). Their goal is to find that right level of pain medication for relief, but also be able to function. Then they will teach me how to use the pump (more prayers there please). I know I have done a lot of care taking, but have not had to deal with this sort of thing, it makes me a little nervous.
There are so many emotions filtering through me everyday. There are times of sadness that just overtake me, and then there are times I am just to exhausted to shed one tear. I am feeling shocked/numb at the fast progression of this. It is hard for my mind to keep up with it. In our private moments Nick shares so openly all of his sufferings physically and emotionally. I have been talking about Heaven with him a lot, about all he has to look forward to. He asked me today, tears streaming down his face " I wonder what that moment will be like?" I replied "GLORIOUS!!". Then later I thought, yes so glorious for him, but so heartbreaking for us, even though my heart knows he will be rejoicing with his King!
God is certainly showering me and Aaron with His peace and His supernatural strength.How else could we be doing this? This journey requires us to walk so closely with our Heavenly Father and clinging to His promise to carry us and sustain us through anything.
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4
Nick is in room 504. If you plan on stopping in for a visit please do so after 1:00. The doctor at Hospice said he may be pretty drowsy for a couple of days until the Morphine levels off in his system. Mornings are hectic with shift changes and he has radiation at 11:30. If you would like to send him a card the address is:
McGraw Center for Caring
Nicholas Badida
Room 504
4715 Worrall Way
Jacksonville, FL 32224
I can never end these updates without thanking you all for for your love and prayers. Our hearts are so thankful for precious gems God has blessed us with. YOU!!
Surrounded by His Love,
The Badidas
He will complete radiation while there. They transport to Mayo for that. (McGraw is right up the street from Mayo). Their goal is to find that right level of pain medication for relief, but also be able to function. Then they will teach me how to use the pump (more prayers there please). I know I have done a lot of care taking, but have not had to deal with this sort of thing, it makes me a little nervous.
There are so many emotions filtering through me everyday. There are times of sadness that just overtake me, and then there are times I am just to exhausted to shed one tear. I am feeling shocked/numb at the fast progression of this. It is hard for my mind to keep up with it. In our private moments Nick shares so openly all of his sufferings physically and emotionally. I have been talking about Heaven with him a lot, about all he has to look forward to. He asked me today, tears streaming down his face " I wonder what that moment will be like?" I replied "GLORIOUS!!". Then later I thought, yes so glorious for him, but so heartbreaking for us, even though my heart knows he will be rejoicing with his King!
God is certainly showering me and Aaron with His peace and His supernatural strength.How else could we be doing this? This journey requires us to walk so closely with our Heavenly Father and clinging to His promise to carry us and sustain us through anything.
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4
Nick is in room 504. If you plan on stopping in for a visit please do so after 1:00. The doctor at Hospice said he may be pretty drowsy for a couple of days until the Morphine levels off in his system. Mornings are hectic with shift changes and he has radiation at 11:30. If you would like to send him a card the address is:
McGraw Center for Caring
Nicholas Badida
Room 504
4715 Worrall Way
Jacksonville, FL 32224
I can never end these updates without thanking you all for for your love and prayers. Our hearts are so thankful for precious gems God has blessed us with. YOU!!
Surrounded by His Love,
The Badidas
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
December 28th, 2010 9:13 PM
Friends,
It was quite a busy day today. Lots of visits from doctors and case workers, most importantly the visit from the hospice representative (Nancy).
In the simplest terms possible, this is the tenative plan:
In the hospital setting, they are only able to help Nick so much as far as pain is concerned because of restrictions on how much medicine they can give him. Nancy reccommended that he be admitted to in-patient hospice temporarily in order to get him on a more effective pain-management regiment. While he is there, they will be able to instruct me on what, when, and how to administer the medication he will need. We are hoping to get him transferred within the next couple of days. He will be able to finish his radiation treatments while in the hospice facility.
Once they have the pain under control, and once I'm comfortable enough with administering the medicine, Nick will be able to hopefully come home for in-home hospice care. The hospice facility is right up the street from Mayo, so we were able to tour it this evening. For what it is, its a very nice, comfortable, and peaceful environment.
Thank you for the wonderful visits, and for respecting requests on visitation lengths and times! It's so helpful with the busy schedule of coordinating stuff with doctors, and trying to keep Nick as comfortable as possible. Tomorrow, Nick will have his second radiation treatment and additional tests in the morning, so visiting would probably be best after 1:00 PM.
I hope to have more exact dates on transitions from hospital to hospice tomorrow, and I will definitely be sure to keep you all posted.
Your constant encouragement through phone calls, texts, emails, and notes carries us through the day and lifts our spirits, so thank you.
For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
2 Chronicles 16:9
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:14-21
Blessed Be Your Name,
The Badidas
It was quite a busy day today. Lots of visits from doctors and case workers, most importantly the visit from the hospice representative (Nancy).
In the simplest terms possible, this is the tenative plan:
In the hospital setting, they are only able to help Nick so much as far as pain is concerned because of restrictions on how much medicine they can give him. Nancy reccommended that he be admitted to in-patient hospice temporarily in order to get him on a more effective pain-management regiment. While he is there, they will be able to instruct me on what, when, and how to administer the medication he will need. We are hoping to get him transferred within the next couple of days. He will be able to finish his radiation treatments while in the hospice facility.
Once they have the pain under control, and once I'm comfortable enough with administering the medicine, Nick will be able to hopefully come home for in-home hospice care. The hospice facility is right up the street from Mayo, so we were able to tour it this evening. For what it is, its a very nice, comfortable, and peaceful environment.
Thank you for the wonderful visits, and for respecting requests on visitation lengths and times! It's so helpful with the busy schedule of coordinating stuff with doctors, and trying to keep Nick as comfortable as possible. Tomorrow, Nick will have his second radiation treatment and additional tests in the morning, so visiting would probably be best after 1:00 PM.
I hope to have more exact dates on transitions from hospital to hospice tomorrow, and I will definitely be sure to keep you all posted.
Your constant encouragement through phone calls, texts, emails, and notes carries us through the day and lifts our spirits, so thank you.
For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
2 Chronicles 16:9
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:14-21
Blessed Be Your Name,
The Badidas
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)