July 21st, 2011

It has been a long couple of weeks emotionally for me. Didn't really know I could shed that many tears. I try and see this as another transformation that the Lord is taking me through, and that through each tear He is peeling away layers of what He knows I don't need.

I try not to look too far ahead, but now that I am the one responsible for just about everything, I find it hard not to. There is a peace in taking things one day or even one minute at a time. I am thankful that each day offers me (all of us) the chance to begin again.

God wants me to be happy and most of the time I am. I try and stay very busy, but those emotions just have a way of sneaking up on you and taking you off your feet when you least expect it. You know me, I like to be prepared, in control and know what is around the corner. That's my plan, but maybe not my Heavenly Father's and He has the final say!! That's why the phrase "learning to live" is so meaningful to me. Everyday I am having to learn, and when I attempt to live according to my plans and based on my emotions, it doesn't really work that well. Fully submitting to the Lord and His plan for my life is the only way to survive. That's why it is called a "daily walk" my friends.

I have had a lot of inquiries about Aaron and how he is doing. He is doing really good, of course he has his times as well. He laughed a certain way last night that sounded just like his dad and I thought what a sweet sound to hear. Aaron has a lot of what we call Nick-isms!

As a parent it is a remarkable sight to sit back and see God working so powerfully in your child's life. Seeing a plan unfold right before my eyes and watching Aaron submit to it and become more mature with each step he takes, blesses me beyond words. He said to me a few nights ago, I tear up just writing it, "I feel so content right now, I don't need anything more or less." Not even six months after losing his father and God was blessing him with these feelings of contentment, peace and joy. That was my nugget of happiness and I am going to ride on it for a while!

I am so thankful for the constant love and support from my family and friends. They light a path for me that at times can become very dark and lonely and I am eternally grateful to them. Thank you!!

I believe that God is using circumstances in my life (and yours) to reveal His power and His presence to me and many others.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

This was from my morning devotional and brought great comfort to my heart. I hope it does for yours too.

To break through the darkness of suffering, take your hope and comfort from the shining light of His unfailing love.---Everyday Comfort Devotional

Blessings Always,

Tammy