Sunday, February 13, 2011

Feb 13th, 2011/Finding closure through the blogs.

I cannot believe it has been two weeks already. The Memorial was amazing and full of God's sweet presence. I do feel like time has now slowed down a bit. Aaron and I have really spent time trying to catch up on some much needed rest. I am surprised at all the loose ends I am having to tie up. Nick took care of everything, so needless to say I am learning a lot. I will tell you once I have accomplished something, I do feel a little empowered and that Nick would be proud of me. I guess that's a good thing!!

I am just trying to breathe and de-stress (if that is possible). As with any mourning process you never really know when something will bring on the tears. A thought, a picture, song etc.....I just know that Nick is with us everyday. I so miss seeing him sitting in his recliner, but then I think about how healthy, happy and handsome he must be and the tears quickly dry up. I know that weather I am joyful or sad God will remain faithful.

I am so humbled by the requests to continue to blog. I will probably do a couple more updates on this blog and then write a final one bringing it to an end. I feel like that is what God is putting on my heart to do. It will bring some closure to a very long journey. If the Lord impressed upon me to start a new blog, I would, but I will wait on His calling to see if that is His plan for me.

My prayer is that I will have a platform to share what God has already done and will continue to do in my life through all of this. To be able to tell of the hope found only through Jesus, and that no matter what your circumstances are, you can cling to Him and be blessed. I want to encourage others as Christ has encouraged me. People and things on this earth will let us down, but God's love is infinite and He won't disappoint us. Through our Heavenly Father there are always better and brighter moments to come. I want to be able to share of the transformation that has taken place in me, in my heart and in my soul, and that anyone can have that same freedom. I simply just want to share His love!!

God Won't Forget
As we cannot forget our children, how much less can God erase our relationship from His memory. If we, who lack all of God's power, do good things for those we love, how much more is He willing to do them for us? All we need do is trust that something good lies at the end of this trial---something God had in mind for us all along. Anonymous

We Delight in His Name,

The Badidas

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Aaron's Speech from Memorial Service

I also wanted to share what Aaron said last Saturday, a special tribute to his dad!

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the way my father told his stories. They came up in casual conversation, and no matter how many times he told them, something always seemed to change each time. The was the one about the 7 Great Danes (or St. Bernards, depending on the day) he encountered as a baby in a stroller, and the one about swimming with Frank Sinatra, and the one about freeing everyone from a day of school with some school bus mischief. There was even one about his days as a self-described professional wrestler, where I am told he was called “The Can-Opener.” The level of absurdity varied depending on the circumstance, but I think that’s the way dads’ stories are supposed to be though…just a little bit fantastic, a little bit farfetched…just enough to make them seem larger than life.

As much as I loved them, however, these are not the stories I’m going to remember my dad for, because the story he lived out over the last two years was so much bigger, so much more real, yet so much more unbelievable at the same time. Most of you saw it play out. You saw him face things with a God-given courage that I’m still not sure I understand. You saw him raise his hands and praise our Heavenly Father in his greatest times of sorrow, despair, and uncertainty. You saw him smile even when the pain was greater than we could imagine. You saw him live out the story God already knew the ending to.

I shared a story on the blog last Father’s day, early on in this journey, from the gospel of Matthew. It’s set right after the last supper, and right before the guards come for Jesus. It read like this: Jesus goes with his disciples the night before his crucifixion to the garden of Gesthemane to pray to his Father in heaven, and as he walks with Peter, James, and John, he tells them that his "soul feels sorrowful" (Mtw. 26:37-38). When he falls before the Lord in prayer, we see, not a joyful exultation, but a prayer that we, as beings of the flesh, can understand more than any other. Jesus knows what is about to come for him: the pain, the anguish, the weight of the world's sin upon his holy shoulders. He calls to his Father, broken, and afraid, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." The Bible tells us that he said this prayer three times. (Mtw. 26:39, 42, 44).

This was a prayer I came to know well in the times when I could not understand the purpose of everything the Lord had laid out before us. It was a prayer that reconciled my desires and the will of God. I saw my Savior, down on his knees, asking for another way...but only if his Father in Heaven desired it.

It took a long time to find an answer to my questions, sometimes. I could not always understand the purpose of it all, why my God of Miracles did not do something unexplainable in the midst of the storm. It wasn’t until the end of this battle that it all started to make sense, as I looked back at those words of Christ, and realized that His story didn’t stop there in the garden.

He went on to suffer so that we might find salvation from this world. He endured pain so that so many other people would be free from bondage and sin. Because God’s will prevailed through one man’s suffering, an eternity was added unto those who seek Him fervently through His Son.

And then I realized that so many people can be blessed, and changed, and grown when God calls someone worthy of suffering for His glory. I can’t imagine a better way for someone to end their story, a better way than the way my father ended his. You see, as we get to experience the love of Jesus Christ and the presence of the Holy Spirit, as we on earth seek him to eternity, my father gets to experience the better part of this promise. He is in Heaven, The Kingdom of God, standing in the glory of his Lord and Savior. For what can we mourn? God will always give us the perfect measure of strength and grace to endure, and with that promise, as much as we grieve for the loss of such an incredible person, we can rest assured that we walk more closely with our Father now than ever before.

I want to share a line from a song that stayed on my mind often as I thought of my Dad throughout his battle.. It says, “You give me hope, in spite of everything; you showed me love, even with so much pain.”

Dad, if you’re listening, and if you’re not too busy reveling in Heavenly glory, I want you to know that, even though I never shared this with you, it was something I always admired. The love you could show, the man you were. I love you, dad.

The Bible says in 1 Peter, “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith--more precious than gold that perishes though tested by fire--may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with a joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”

Dad sees, now. And what a sight it must be.

Monday, February 7, 2011

My tribute spoken at Nick's Memorial

I have had many requests to post what I read at Nick's Memorial. It was truly a very special day!

Saturday, February 5th, 2011 2:00 PM

I opened my eyes this morning to a drizzly, foggy day, and the first thing that came to my mind was my sweet husband. I quickly realized that today would be the day that so many of us would gather to celebrate his life.

And what a celebration it was. Looking out and seeing the countless loving faces that have supported us through prayer, encouragement, and laughter was a sight to behold.

I couldn't help but focus on the first seat of the fifth row, the chair left empty today in memory of Nick and all the times he lifted his hands in worship and praise even in spite of the pain he felt.
I’m really going to miss that…not the pain, not the struggle, but the joy it brought to Nick’s face, and the hope and love he found in his Heavenly Father. It’s hard to imagine how it’ll feel to go back to that seat and worship without him by my side. It might be a little bit lonely, at times. It might even be a little bit sad.

But then, just as I think I might feel alone, I am overwhelmed by the thought of the love we have felt from all of you who I am blessed to call friends. I know that in those hard times to come, I’ll be able to look around and be reminded of all the special times Nick shared with you---those times he learned to walk more faithfully in the Lord, those times he learned what God’s will was for his life, and those times when he just needed the kind words, the soft prayers, and the smiles through his tears.

Every face I saw today reminded me of the special fellowship that was shared during this season. Nick found so much joy being with the ones he loved. He was always a man who loved deeply, a man with a genuine heart. The friendships we made as a family brought Nick a happiness and a closeness with the Lord I had never seen in his life before. I think you all helped fulfill a part of Nick and give him the experience of feeling safe and loved by a body of believers. Words can’t express the gratefulness of my heart for this gift.

Each gift, each card, each cookie, even each wall post and kind note was not only a testimony to the hope we shared, but a representation of our belief in the comforting power of the Spirit of the Lord. In truth, no matter how many lives our walk may have inspired, no matter how much Nick’s walk may have inspired us, it is the walk we take each day with our Savior that gives us all the hope and inspiration for this life we will ever need.

He is the rock upon which our hope is founded, he is our shelter for whatever storm comes our way. He tests our faith to reveal his power, and he has mercy on those who suffer.
In James, His Word tells us to “Consider it pure joy…whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything…Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood that test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

There was a certain comfort in knowing that, while the Bible does not promise us freedom from struggle, it does promise us a faith made complete, and a new life and fellowship with God. I imagine that when Nick met his Savior just a week ago, he received that crown of life, because, though he struggled and wrestled with the will of the Lord, he never gave up on his hope and belief that he would enter a fellowship that we can only try to imagine.

It was almost unbelievable at times, the joy we were able to experience in the precious company of friends. This joy, this peace that truly did surpass all understanding was nothing less than a divine gift from our Father. I will never forget those days, where in spite of our uncertainty, in spite of the pain, we were able to cherish time together as a family, and laugh as if these trials had never come. I know now that the Lord ordained these times before we even knew they would come.

Because I believe in the promise of that old verse, John 3:16, which says that, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever shall believe in him will not perish, but have everlasting life,” I know that while I may miss Nick today, my belief in Christ Jesus and the eternity he promises through salvation makes it only a matter of the Lord’s sweet time before I will see him again. My greatest hope is that you all share this hope and belief, and that after our time on this earth has passed, we will all be together in eternal union with Nick and our Father in Heaven.
Looking forward to a new road ahead with our friends and our Savior,
The Badidas

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Thursday Feb 3rd, 2011..Happy Birthday Aaron!

Today is such a special day!! Our son Aaron's 17th Birthday. I write this through many tears and also with such great joy to have him in my life. Not having Nick hear to share this day saddens me so much. He always looked forward to all the kids birthdays. His daughter Erika just turned 22 Sunday.It was hard to tell whose Birthday it really was, Nick's or the kids!!

I feel like God has truly blessed Aaron and I with a wonderful mother/son relationship. The Lord knew we would need each other. It is a gift to look at both of Nick's kids and see so much of him.

This week has been mostly challenged by being sick. Although, we had most of the arrangements taken care of there has been some minor details to get finished. All of it to honor Nick the way he wanted. We are just cuddling in God's arms everyday, finding that comfortable spot and resting securely in His promise to see us through.

So many sweet, tender & thoughtful texts, cards, emails, phone calls, etc...The comfort and peace that fills this home right now is so wonderful. We cannot thank you all enough for your support. You have never let go during this very painful and very long journey.

Saturday will be a very special day and I look forward to seeing you there and celebrating the life of a wonderful man. Now let me go put on that silly little Birthday hat and go give my boy a big ole hug!! I am sure he will love that!! LOL!

God is Always So Good,

The Badidas

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Obituary posted for Nick/Feb 1st 2011

Nicholas Paul Badida

BADIDA Please Sign the Guestbook @

Nicholas Paul Badida, 53, passed away surrounded by his wife and family on Saturday, January 29, 2011. Nick was born on November 30, 1957 in Plainfield, New Jersey. He attended Roger Williams University in Rhode Island and Kean University in New Jersey, and received a degree in business and marketing.

He moved to Jacksonville in 1986, where he built a successful career in sales. For the last several years, he worked for Tom Bush BMW and was greatly respected by those in the automotive industry. It was said by his friends that "Nick was a truly genuine man'. He had a passion for motorcycles, cars and his church, Chets Creek. Extremely loving and devoted, he was an amazing husband and father. He was loved and adored by his family and friends, and will be dearly missed. He was predeceased by his mother, Bernice Badida.

Survivors include his beloved wife of 19 years, Tammy McMillan Badida; daughter, Erika Badida; son, Aaron Badida and step-son Ryan Collins; his father, Nicholas Badida and many other wonderful family and friends.

A Celebration of Nick's life will be held at 2:00 p.m. Saturday, February 5, 2011 at Chets Creek Church, 4420 Hodges Rd. with Pastor Spike Hogan officiating. The family will receive friends at the church 1 hour prior to the services. In lieu of flowers the family requests donations to a college fund that has been established for his son, Aaron, at any VyStar Credit Union, account #702857261. Corey-Kerlin Funeral Home & Crematory, 940 Cesery Blvd. assisting the family.