Just Keep Trying

I start this blog with a heart that is overflowing with thankfulness for the answered prayer of a new job!

I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.-Psalm 69:30

Many of you know how long I have been tirelessly sending out resumes and receiving one rejection after the next. Finally, doors began to slightly open and interviews started taking place. Then a few days ago, that door swung open a bit more and I stepped through it. 

I wasn't sure which job was going to come through, as things narrowed down to a full-time, as well as a part-time opportunity, with two great organizations. I knew after various interviews I had done all that I could, and I was trusting God was going to do all that He could to put me where I needed to be. I cannot tell you the peace I have felt since accepting this position. Although, my heart's desire is to be employed full-time, this is the way I will need to start for now. The exciting and hopeful thing is there may be a potential for this to turn into a full time position. God knows, He sees all and I am relying on Him to provide.

There have been many confirmations and so many things falling into place with this (that's a whole other blog!) that I just know this is where I am supposed to be for now. I will say none of this has happened in my timing. The Lord is going to teach me patience one way or another! I started this process quite a while back and I have shed many tears and have gotten very discouraged along the way, but I never gave up looking. Through the tears, through the disappointment, through the rejections, I just kept trying.

I confess I had many conservations with God during this process, and honestly, some of them were not pretty. While I am confessing, I will tell you there were times I wanted to give up the search, lay in my bed, and just wallow in self pity. After all, I was tired and had grown extremely weary, but your many prayers kept me going, as well as a constant feeling that God would provide in His time. I just needed to continue to do the footwork. No one ever said it was going to be easy.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.- John 16:33

The many prayers and words of encouragement from my family and friends became invaluable to me during this long and tedious process. My Heavenly Father has always so graciously blessed me with wonderfully supportive, encouraging, and praying people, and I am so very thankful for each of every one of them! May God bless you all a hundred times over.

 This next phase on my journey of "Learning to Live" brings much excitement as well as a little anxiety. I am eager to dive right in, learn new things, further my education, meet new people and just really enjoy this wonderful opportunity that could lead to.... God knows what?......Well, He does and I can't wait to find out!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

Thank you for celebrating with me in sharing some good news and for continuing to follow and support me on my road to healing. I humbly request that you please continue to pray for doors to open for me in this area.

Blessings Always,

Tammy

It's Okay Not To Be Okay

                     

"Sometimes when you can't breathe and your heart feels withered down and dry...God will send you someone that will breathe words of life into your soul. I never take for granted when God sends someone into my life with a word...His Word." 

I sent those words to an old friend several weeks ago after she reached out to me. This is a friend that I knew from high school and had not seen nor spoken too in quite sometime. She shared with me that every time she would drive by the Mayo Clinic she would pray for me and my family, and that to this very day, she still does. My heart melted as I was both thankful and blessed by her words.  

 As we continued catching up and sharing, my friend said something during our conversation that has really stuck in my mind. She shared how she always sees me as someone who has it all together. My heart sunk as she spoke those words, as I knew the real truth. I was far from having it all together, and if publicly I showed the bad days on the outside as often as I have them...would I still be a shining light for Christ? Would people still love me for me, in spite of the mess going on inside? I confess some days I put on that "denial" mask. After all, that is way better than having to deal with the huge hurdles on my path. Can anybody relate? 

I have learned over the years that you never know what someone is going through in their lives. Some people are very open and transparent about their trials, while others choose to tuck that pain away. Maybe it is an "out-of-sight, out-of-mind" kind of thing. I confess I often walk both sides of that fence, but it never fails that when I confide my brokenness with someone, I am usually filled with encouragement and love. That is not to say that some feelings and struggles are not private and personal, but it does help to lighten the load when you confide in someone you trust and they in return show you God's grace and love.  

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.         1 Thessalonians 5:11

I am most surprised to find out that when I let my guard down, so will those around me. Then the layers start to peel off and we see a softer side to one another. We can begin to relate on a deeper level, maybe even form a lifelong friendship. I know I have been immensely blessed to have that happen in my life on several occasions. It is a strange, but wonderful thing, how pain and suffering can bind two people together. 

By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.                    Ecclesiastes 4:12 (MSG)

So, to answer the first question: would I still be a shining light to Christ? Absolutely! Probably even a little more brightly, as others will hopefully see how God is using me and how He is helping me to mend and grow stronger through all my sorrow and pain. I pray that people will see HIS light in me brighter than ever, even when I cannot see it in myself. 

But then we ask, will people still love me for me, in spite of the mess going on inside? Of course they should! Now, I am not going say you won't lose a few folks here and there as you are on the path to healing, and friends, that's okay. Sometimes God does the weeding out for our own good, but there will be those who love you unconditionally and see you through the eyes of Jesus, who will love you past your faults, sorrows and pains. Those 

people are the body of Christ in it's purest form and are the sweetest of blessings.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galations 6:2 

You are a precious gem in the eyes of your Heavenly Father. Please know that what you may see as a mess others may see as a message of hope and strength. 

Blessings Always,

Tammy