We sat in the room waiting on Dr. Pirris, holding hands, quiet, our eyes closed most of the time in prayer. I know Nicks prayer was for total bone fushion....and though I also had that prayer first and foremost, I was praying for strength, prepardness and for my heart to remain thankful for whatever we were about to hear. It didn't take long once Dr. Pirris came into the room to show us the CT Scan and share with us the unfortunate news of no bone fushion. Tears filled Nick's eyes, he took a deep breath and said what now? He will have a re-check for fushion in 6 months, but until then the brace must stay on. As far as the lower back the CT did not show a tumor,(praises) but Dr. Pirris will order an MRI for a more comprehensive view and to be conclusive. There are signs of some disc degeneration which can explain some of the pain.
Can I say my heart remains thankful? Yes, because I am still able to bring my husband home, love him and spend more time with him. Is my heartbreaking for him....so much I cannot express. I will shed my tears later in my private moments, but right now, because of the strength from our Heavenly Father I am able to lift Nick up and try to encourage him through this difficult news. He is so dissapointed. Because I have been feeling weary lately, I was worried I would not have the emotional strength to support him today, but I do, thank you sweet Jesus I do! And thank YOU for your prayers to lift me up and get me ready for today.
Pastor Spike said in a recent sermon do not let this (cancer or whatever it is) define who you are. I reminded Nick of that on the drive home, do not let this brace or cancer define who you are in Christ, a survivor, a vessal being used by The Most High, a witness for His Kingdom, an amazing husband and dad. I could on and on.
We have to remain encouraged that in the eyes of the Lord, we are his beloved. Although, our flesh wants to question why, we do not want to open the door to any doubts of His plan for our lives. Honestly, that is very difficult right now. A devotion I read a while back said: Look to God for answers through His word, Bible study, and the counsel of mature Christians. We are humbled and grateful to know we have all of those resources available to us. I pray for the daily wisdom to use them.
This is a moment of darkness for us, but we will continue to cling to The Bright Morning Star, the One who gives light. Our prayer request for now would be for God's continued supernatural strength and peace to fill our hearts and homes during the holiday season, and to not let a moment go by that we do not appreciate and give thanks for.
We love and adore our family and friends, we brought each of you with us in that room this morning, you were standing on the mount with us. Thank you and blessings from our hearts.