March 22nd, 2012

As I was driving home last night I was listening to the radio and the song Amazing Grace began to play. Every time I hear that song I think about my mom. It was truly one of her favorites. I love to just close my eyes and think about the many times I stood beside her in church and listened to her sing that song. I can still here her singing it now. Then it hit me: March 22nd is here and it has been three years since she was called home to spend an eternity with her Heavenly Father. 

That time seems to have gone by so quickly. Mom passed away and then a few months later Nick was having major surgery and life never seemed to really slow down after that. Of course, even with all that was going on with my husband I would think about her so often, and wished I had her there to give me that comfort that only moms can so tenderly give. But lately so many memories of her have been flooding back into my heart.

For those of you who knew my mom Marjorie, would probably agree that she was a what I would call a southern belle! Rarely would you see her not put together from head to toe. Even if she was in her kitchen frying up something, she had it going on. She taught me the traditional things about how to be a proper young lady (well, she tried!). She had the gift of being able to make anything grow, any flower, any tree. She could even make a bunch of old weeds look absolutely beautiful! Unfortunately, I did not inherit that gift. 

But what pierces my heart the most is the many years she took me, even sometimes dragging me, to a little Baptist church down a long dirt road. It is there where I first accepted Jesus into my heart and got baptized. I didn’t know it then, but I can clearly see now what a difference that made in my life. It was my foundation and although I may have drifted away from it during my younger years, I always came back. What a gift she gave me! I never really got to thank her for that. 

What a blessing is to know I can always hear her voice and have those sweet visions of me staring up at this stunning woman, singing those old hymns, and thinking how truly lucky I was to have her as my mom.

I love and miss you everyday day, mom, but I rejoice in knowing you are home, you are healthy, and you are happy! You can sing as loud as you want and plant the biggest, most beautiful garden ever. 

Love,

Your Daughter

March 19th, 2012

Hello family and friends, 

I have missed you! I took break from writing for a couple of weeks. Sometimes you just need that mental break and need to regroup and refocus, Amen? 

First, let me update you all a little on us. 

Aaron is doing well, he is looking forward to getting through the last stretch of his senior year and making that final college decision. The remainder of the notifications will not be sent until the end of March or first of April. For you parents who have had a teenager deciding on a college, you know it is not just about getting accepted, but also about the scholarships that come with the acceptance. We are totally and completely trusting God on the decision that will be made. 

I am “hanging in there” ( I seem to say that a lot). I have to say I am surprised at the many adjustments emotionally that I am still experiencing. All I can say is that the life lessons never stop, and just when I think I cannot possibly grow anymore God will surprise me with something else. I am still writing stories for FACES and will have another one up very soon. What an incredibly humbling experience it is to be able to share the stories of these courageous survivors. 

I find that I have been really pleading with the Lord for His guidance and direction in my life. I think Aaron and I both have been praying this for quite sometime now. We want to see that big neon sign or feel that undeniable prompting as to which direction He would have us take. We want to be obedient to His calling. What we are learning is that you may not always see that clear sign or feel the nudging to go in a certain direction and that you have to just rely strictly on your faith. 

We had the pleasure to hear Tim Tebow speak several nights ago, and one of the stories he shared was about having to choose which college team to play for and what a painstaking decision it was for him. He said he asked those closest to him what he should do? They would all respond with the same answer: “Tim, you will make the right decision, you always do.” 

He went on to say how he just really began to pray so much over this decision and was really just waiting on God to show him and lead him where he needed to be. He waited and wanted to see that big sign.

The day came when Tim’s decision needed to be made and literally minutes before he was due to make his announcement, he was still struggling with it. As we all know ultimately Tim made his decision to play football at the University of Florida. He said although he never really saw that “big sign,” he was glad, because he saw God actually leading him, not just showing him. (2 Corinthians 5:7!)

This may be true in many of your lives right now, as you are waiting and looking for that big, clear, sign that may not present itself to you the way that you want. But, your faith still needs to stay planted firmly and strongly, not based on what you can see, but what you know to be true. God is always there!  I picture it kind of like driving on a road with no road signs, yet I know I will make it to my destination. 


 In closing, I want to say thank you for continuing to stand along beside us, praying for and loving us through this unpredictable journey of re-building our lives and trying to find our "new normal". I am so grateful for my Healer who has taken my heart and breathed it back to life.


I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide--Mercy Me (The Hurt and the Healer)

Blessings,

Tammy