A Widows View

Definition of a widow: A woman who has lost her husband by death and has not remarried.

 I write this blog with a heavy heart this evening. Sadly, a couple of my friends have recently lost their husbands and I know the pain that their hearts are experiencing as they begin the journey to healing and rediscovering who they are.

The definition above seemed so matter-of-fact when I read it because personally it has taken me over two and half years to accept that title, a title that I felt carried so much pain and loneliness. I always felt there was some sort of stigma attached to it. But as time has passed and healing has begun to penetrate my heart, I realized that "label" is a chance to share a testimony of faith, hope and love.

Becoming a widow is something that doesn't have to be in vain in my life. I have the ability to turn into something that is good…something that is God. 

It was difficult in the midst of the crippling pain to try and defeat that enemy who had come to defeat me and steal my joy. There was a stranger inside of me now, one that had no identity, yet was struggling to be known. I could stand in front of the mirror and see the same outer shell but could no longer identify with that person at the core. I did the only thing I had the strength to do and that was cling to what God had promised me:   “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” God wants us to have a rich and satisfying life. 

I began to very slowly re-discover my new identity, but all the while my Heavenly Father would gently remind me that my "true" identity has always been and will always be found in Him and each time that confirmation would flood my soul I would sense more strength, a clearer perspective and feel a little more secure. God was pruning me and it was painful, but always so needed. Suddenly the title that once seemed so hard to even whisper was being spoken about often—and with a God filled story surrounding it.  

Yes, I am a widow by the sense of the dictionary's definition, but I am so much more than just that definition in God's eyes and in the eyes of those who love me. What the past 2 ½ years have taught me about being a widow is that I am worthy of happiness again, that I am strong enough to survive the loss of someone so precious to me, and that being a widow doesn't have to be something I deny, but instead that I can embrace with a heart that is—praise God—healing more each and every day. 

I am no longer afraid to say that word and accept that role. It is only by the grace and power of my Heavenly Father that I can testify to this healing which in itself is a miracle.  

I pray for my friends and for all who are experiencing this pain. Please know there is hope and there will be happiness again, it will be different and your priorities will change...they should. But you will, by the loving grace of God, survive this time. Know that you are never alone and that your always loved and prayed for.  

A Blessed Widow,

Tammy

Repost: Someone Else's Shoes

Repost from 12-11-12

Several weeks ago I was on the hunt to find that perfect pair of shoes at a reasonable price for the holidays. After trying on several different pairs I thought I had finally found the perfect ones. I slipped them on, stood up, took a few steps and after wobbling a bit from the very high heel I looked at the associate and said "I can't even walk in these" she chuckled and proudly responded by saying "I could walk a mile in those shoes!" Of course she was twenty-something.

I thought as I left without any shoes that day how I really liked the way those shoes looked, but the fit just wasn't quite right and how there was something so comforting about slipping back into my shoes, no matter how worn or scuffed they may have been. They were my good ole sturdy stand by's that I had put many miles on. Those shoes had walked me through a lot of pain. They may not had been new and glamorous, but they were warm and familiar. They had walked me through hospitals, doctors offices, and even down the halls of Hospice to say good bye.

At times many of us may wonder what it would be like to walk in someone else's shoes, if only for a day. I think we have the capability of doing that to a degree when we walk along side of our brothers and sisters in Christ encouraging, praying and loving them through their pain. Romans 12:15 tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. There is no greater way to walk in someone else's shoes than to be able to understand and help them through their pain. At my age I don't meet many widows, but when I do there is a level that we immediately connect on. I know they get it! They understand that sorrow in my heart like no one else can.

Metaphorically speaking, when we walk in someone else's shoes it should always be to help them and never to judge them.  Don't waste the chance to help someone out of the pit by thinking you could do things better or different, but instead just embrace them and love them unconditionally. Jesus commands in John 13:34 "Love one another as I have loved you." Simply love them through their pain just as Christ does for you.

It is like God is preparing our hearts through the trials to be able to walk in any shoes and to see others just as He does. Sometimes our shoes can become too comfortable and we get so caught up in our problems causing us to miss that unique opportunity to reach out, befriend, and help someone else. Yes,  you can actually use your struggles and pain to help others and in that process heal yourself. Often you will hear people refer to life as a journey. Our shoes should be solid, stable, and have a thick enough sole to endure miles of what could be a very long and painful journey. That's the strength God provides us. He is our stability, the Healer of our hearts and soul, and He walks beside us every step of the way. 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2

So the next time you put on your favorite shoes, think about someone else--a friend, neighbor or family member-- that is struggling this season. Step out of those shoes and go walk with them in theirs. You may be just the person God has chosen to walk them right out of the darkness into His Light. 

Blessings Always,

Tammy 

A Season of Firsts

The holidays are in full swing! The continuious crowds, the sounds of Christmas music wherever you go, the ridiculous amounts of food...and calories! For many this could be a season of "firsts" some joyful ones and maybe some painful ones.

I want to share with you that after surviving a year of "firsts," I feel like I have the strength now to make it through these times and with a much lighter heart and more joy. Thank you Lord! If you are experiencing a season of "firsts," I want to encourage you to pray and cling tightly to the hand of your Heavenly Father. He will never abandon you. You are not alone and you will make it through! 

(Isaiah 40:11 He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart). 

Since then I have come to learn that even though I may have survived many "firsts," rebuilding a new life in any situation is still a challenge. A daily challenge! Some days I feel like that new kid at school, so scared and unsure, wondering if I will fit it, questioning where exactly I belong and doubting myself. These are all the things the enemy would like for me to feel and succumb to. Thankfully my heart is glued to a better foundation, one that is solid, strong, stable and gives me the blessed assurance that in Christ I can conquer each day instead of it conquering me. (Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me). God always reminds me, especially through the small things, that He is present and He is there to counteract whatever the enemy wants to throw at me.

I can close my eyes right now and see the faces of many friends that are facing a difficult season of "firsts," and my heart aches for those who will have to endure that journey. I pray you will open your hearts and let God carry you as you stumble through the brief darkness which will soon fade into a brilliant Light that will bring you great peace and much healing. (John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.)You are so loved.

In closing, I wanted to share a little something sweet that is on my heart. I am not sure if it is the season, or that Nick's birthday is coming up, but lately I have had many friends sharing with me how much he has been in their thoughts. I love hearing about the fond memories and funny stories that he left for us all to enjoy. I love knowing that he is always thought of. That brings me such joy. Something he always said to me was "Don't forget about me!" And I would say "Like we ever could, my love." So, thank you for sharing with me and blessing me with your memories of Nick. What a precious gift!

As aways I am thankful for this opportunity to share a little bit of my heart with you all. Thank you  reading this blog. I hope you can feel the love that my Heavenly Father has so graciously placed in my heart to share. 

Blessings,

Tammy 

September 22nd, 2012

Something sparked a sweet memory in my mind a few days ago that keeps reoccurring in my thoughts. The memory took me back to a cold evening in January, 2011, when a group of amazing sisters in Christ piled into a quaint little chapel at the McGraw Hospice Center to pray for my husband and our family. It was truly a night that was full of love, fellowship, prayer and worship. It will forever be etched in my heart as I was so humbled by all that took place that evening.

 I cannot help but to think about that night and not be flooded with feelings of immense joy and peace. I began to remember that irrefutable feeling of peace that seemed to surround me during the most difficult time in my life, a peace that truly transcended all of my understanding. This is the peace I have come to pray for daily as I find my way on this journey of rebuilding my life.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ." Philippians 4:7

As I continued to reflect on that evening and all that my Heavenly Father had blessed me with, the one thing that was so unforgettable to me was how the body of Christ came together and fearlessly prayed. There is something so powerful when a group of believers join hands and begin to pray without hesitation, boldly approaching His throne of grace with everything they have and not being afraid to lay it all at the feet of Jesus...and leave it there!

Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Prayer helps us to release control over a situation, acknowledge God's sovereign strength over it, trust that He will take care of us, and it brings us peace. One of the lessons that Ruth Bell Graham taught was "Worship and worry cannot exist at the same time in the same heart. The are mutually exclusive." That is a lesson that I often have to be reminded of.

Prayer is not all about asking God for something, but also thanking Him for everything He has so graciously given to us. Giving thanks frees us from our worries and brings about that glorious peace that blankets us.

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His court with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good;His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endure to all generations. Psalm 100:4-5

I want to share something that I recently read from a devotional called, "Good Morning, Lord": 

"Concerned about one of her children, Ruth was unable to sleep one night. Realizing the missing ingredient in her heart was thanksgiving, she began to thank God for this son, for his life, for the joy he had brought to their family. Her burden quickly was lifted and she was able to finally rest." Her prayers of thanksgiving brought her peace.

Reading that made me think of the many times I pray and only focus on the problem. I realized that I too, at times, have been missing that special ingredient of just thanking God for His mercy and truth in my life along with ALL other things I have to be so thankful for.

 It's really quite simple: prayers of thanksgiving equate to a peaceful heart!

What a blessing to be able to recall such precious memories of that night. I can close my eyes and go right back to that wonderful little chapel, see all those beautiful faces, listen to each prayer that was sweetly spoken. I can hear the music playing faintly in the background, proudly standing hand in hand with these amazing women knowing just for that moment I was experiencing a little taste of Heaven. Oh the peace that floods my soul!

A nugget of encouragement from Jesus: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27 

May you all come to know His peace. 

Blessings,

Tammy

August 17th, 2012

Most of us have probably heard one or more of these sayings before: "Change is good," "The more things change, the more they stay the same," "Change is coming," or "Embrace the change!" 

Yes, change is inevitable, and we will all face it to some degree in our lives. Often times it can be welcomed and much needed, while other times it can swoop in, turn your world upside down and leave you wondering what happened. Sometimes we bring about the changes, but not always. 

I have definitely had my share of changes over the last several years. I have to say as I look back, those changes were life transformations for me. I was one of those people that did not welcome change in my life with open arms. I was content with just being who I was, thinking everything was good, and that there was no need to rock the boat. But friends, God saw me and my life much differently. He knew the changes that were coming. He saw the crossroad I would be standing at long before I even had a hint of anything. 

 I had two choices once that storm hit in my own life. I could have become very bitter and just turned away from everything good. I could have allowed the enemy to grab a hold of me and run. I could have just given up. But something began to change in me, a peace that I had never felt before flooded my heart and soul, so I chose to cling to that peace and the One who brought it to me. It wasn't, nor is it always easy. But with all the changes I had to continually face, there was One constant source of love, peace and grace: Jesus! 

Hebrews 13:8 tell us that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Because I had come to know this truth I began to embrace the changes taking place in me. I knew I would not always like the changes in my life, but I had to get through them to get to the point God wanted me at. And as I always confess to you I am a constant work in progress. The Bible tells us that when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we should change. (2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT  "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!") Does this mean we are not going to sin or life is going to be perfect? No, it means we have a fresh start to begin our new life in Christ and strive to become better and have a real heart transformation. 

I don't know what changes you may be facing. It may be the loss of job, divorce, financial difficulties, illness...the list can be endless really. You could be standing at that same crossroad that I stood at, wondering where to go? Who to turn to? I want to encourage you to embrace the change that God is wanting to set forth in you. Get with a friend, open your Bible and begin to read. Find a church and get plugged in or get on your knees and just begin to open your heart and talk to God. Many of these were all changes I needed to make in my own life.     

My prayer in sharing with you all is never to sound "preachy" but only to share about my own hurts and struggles and how choosing to walk closer with my Heavenly Father has been the biggest and most welcomed change of my life.  

I love, appreciate and pray for you all. 

Blessings Always,

Tammy

July 13th, 2012

It has been a while since I last felt lead to blog. Sometimes you just have to step back, give it a break and wait for your heart to lead you. I am always humbled by others checking on us when I haven't written in a while to make sure we are doing okay. Thank you!

 An update:

I am eagerly waiting on that next phase of my life to begin.I am trusting and believing that it will involve me being employed! I know God is working on my behalf and that He will answer my prayer in His perfect timing. I see things beginning to change in that area, and although I am somewhat anxious, I have to say I am also very excited at what the future has in store for me. It has been a long time since I felt like that. Starting over at 46 years old is no easy task! But I have to say I am ready and I thank the Lord for getting me to this point. I am always so blown away at God's impeccable timing with things. He always knows what I need and when I need it. Amen!

Aaron is doing great! He is still on course with his plan--God's plan, that is-- and since graduating I have seen him really start to relax and just enjoy this time before starting his busy schedule in August. It gives me such great joy to see him happy, content and pursuing the call that has been placed on his heart.

We recently spent July 4th celebrating with a tradition that we started with Nick probably 7 years ago. We go to Amelia Island, eat dinner with friends, and watch the fireworks on the beach. I think the sweetest part of that night was when Aaron and I were driving home, I started tearing up and said "I was really thinking about your Dad so much tonight" and Aaron said "So was I". I realized as time goes on those are some very sweet and sacred moments between me and my boy.

Although life is certainly not always easy, it has become manageable and for that I am so very grateful. I look forward to getting my next FACES story written and posted. Writing for me, whether it is my story or someone else's has been an immense blessing. This blog has become part of me and my life. I have laughed, cried, grieved, and grown through every post. But what I am most proud of is how my Heavenly Father has been present and glorified throughout.

Recently at church, a friend looked at me and said "God's not finished with you yet." Wow! Those words opened the flood gates of my heart. I needed to be reminded of that, I think we all do. Many times we feel like we have reached "the end" of something in our lives, losing a loved one, divorce, loss of a job, etc., and  those things do bring a certain kind of finality, but it is not the end for us. We still have life, a life that God wants to bless abundantly and use to glorify His name. This is your chance to pay forward to others the grace, mercy and love that has been extended to you during your time of need, a unique opportunity to have a real heart change, a chance at a new life, a life God has designed specifically for you! Amen!

In closing, I want to say I am so thankful for each and every reader of this blog. I am grateful for your encouragement over the last couple of years and for sticking with me on this journey. I am always so very humbled when anything that I write helps another human being in any way. The credit belongs solely to my Heavenly Father for without Him the paper would stay blank.

Much love and many blessings,

Tammy

A Grateful Heart

  

God, if you love me why did you take my husband? God, if you are in control why is life so hard? Yes, I found myself crying out these exact words a few days ago.  You may have your own list of different questions at times, but the answer remains the same...Life is tough my friends, but God is always faithful! I have had people say to me, "How do you still have so much faith after all you have been through?" And I think, "how can I not?" I still have bad days, days I will question, but not due to lack of faith, but because I am simply feeling sad or discouraged. Having a bad day doesn't mean you have any less faith. 

Anyone who has suffered a great loss in their life knows what I am talking about when I say this: I lost a part of myself when my husband died. I discovered over the last year that I have struggled to try and regain that. But I have realized that a lot of what is gone, needed to be and that it's okay, because God wants to take what has been lost and restore it with something better, something more refined and polished. I am continuous work in progress!

I think my emotions are running high lately due partly to Aaron graduating and not having Nick here to experience this very important and joyous occasion. I confess, that over the last couple of months I found myself really focusing more on what and who I didn't have in my life, instead of all I have to be grateful for. I always try to encourage others to find that daily "nugget" or blessing that God has for them, yet I was failing to do that myself. The enemy had been robbing me of my joy and I didn't even know it.

God had a message for me! This past Sunday at church I heard a sermon about gratitude given by Pastor Steven Furtick. Before the message was even over the tears were flowing. I had such conviction about the lack of gratitude I had been giving to the things in my life. During the sermon Pastor Steven asked the congregation to take a deep breath in and then let it out....then he said, "Now, that was on credit!" That quickly brought back the memory of Jan 29th, 2011 and seeing my husband take his last breath. I was instantly reminded of how grateful I needed to be for my own health and the health and protection of my children. How could I not be grateful for the amazing friends that God had chosen to fill that void in my life with? How can I not be thankful when my Savior is working to repair what has been broken inside of me? Or when in the depths of my loneliness I am really never alone, because He is always there to comfort me. The list is really endless when you break it down daily. Don't we all really have so much to be thankful  and praise God for?

Psalm 100:4 Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and bless His name. 

I pray that my thoughts, my attitude, but most of all my heart will overflow with gratefulness at all that God has so graciously blessed me with. 

With a grateful heart,

Tammy

Eddie

My latest story on FACES is about someone who I have known for a while now, someone who started his own journey with cancer shortly after my husband started his. There is no doubt that the Lord crossed our paths and our lives would forever be changed because of it.

His name is Eddie and he was diagnosed with AML, Acute Myeloid Leukemia in August 2010, just three months after my husband's cancer had returned. AML is a fast-growing cancer of the blood and bone marrow, and is the most common type of acute leukemia. More than 11,900 new cases occur in the United States each year, mostly in older adults.

Eddie had started feeling really tired, but like most of us do he chalked it up to being very busy. After all, he had a very busy summer, which included a missions trip to Thailand. But when a mouth sore just would not heal, and at the urging of his wife, Kelley, he went to the doctor. After a series of tests, and a very frightening trip to the ER, which resulted in a hospital stay, the results were conclusive and confirmed that Eddie had AML.

As you can imagine and as with many that get this diagnosis, Eddie was shocked, in disbelief, and just felt sadness and fear. He says his wife shed a lot of tears those first few days.

As I write this I cannot help but to think about the many times we were all at Mayo hospital together, them on one floor, us on another. One time in particular, we by chance ran into Eddie and his precious wife in the lobby. I took one look at her face, and I saw that her eyes were filled with tears. We huddled in circle, holding hands, and began to pray for God's supernatural peace to flow throughout us right there in that Mayo lobby. It certainly did! I am not sure that I ever told that dear couple how thankful my husband and I were for that moment and that prayer time.

One question I always ask is: How do you feel like this has changed you? Eddie said "I think it has made me appreciate what's really important that much more...especially the time with my family." Eddie goes on to say how he felt like he had missed out on so much like his son's 3rd birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas because he had to spend so much time in the hospital, including one stay which concluded with 100 days in isolation after his bone marrow transplant.

Eddie also shared how it was one of the most powerful examples of answered prayers he had ever experienced firsthand. I wholeheartedly agree with Eddie! When you have walked hand and hand with the Lord in the valley of cancer you become transformed and you will experience the power of prayer in your life like never before. Not only is cancer a physical and emotional life changer...it is a spiritual one as well.

Both Eddie and Kelley shared how the wonderfully kind and gracious support from so many of their family, friends and church family was a constant reminder to them they were not alone and gave them so much strength.

I asked Eddie to explain if someone did not know you, what is the one thing you would want them to learn about you through this story? Eddie said that they had always believed the commonly quoted idea, "God never gives you more than you can handle." Interestingly, he looked, and this is actually not found anywhere in the Bible. What Eddie did find, however, was that God will never give you more than He can handle." Eddie shared how that gave them such great comfort. He went on to say that if we fall into the mindset of believing that it's about what "we" can handle, we start to think, "I must really be something special because God gave me such a big obstacle!" Eddie emphasized that it is ultimately not about us! It is about God and how He will see you through. He does not promise an easy ride or a happy ending, but He does promise to be there every step of the way.

I am more than happy to report that Eddie is now cancer free. Thanks to an anonymous donor through the BeTheMatch.org organization, a perfect 10/10 match was found, and he underwent a successful bone marrow transplant. In fact he recently celebrated his one year mark! Congratulations Eddie and family!

I cannot tell you how thankful I am for this family and the journey we shared with them. Though at times a very painful one, still one I know that God had so sweetly woven together. Each enduring our own level of suffering with our loved ones brought on by the sharp sword of cancer, but yet praying for and encouraging one another just as Christ would have it. I always believe if we look hard enough each day we will find a "nugget" that God has sent to us, big or small it is there! This family was definitely a "nugget" of joy on our journey.

I want to end with something Kelley shared with me. She said cancer brings much fear, and what is the opposite of fear? Peace. Perfect love. Security. Courage. God is the author of these beautiful things...and only God.

March 19th, 2012

Hello family and friends, 

I have missed you! I took break from writing for a couple of weeks. Sometimes you just need that mental break and need to regroup and refocus, Amen? 

First, let me update you all a little on us. 

Aaron is doing well, he is looking forward to getting through the last stretch of his senior year and making that final college decision. The remainder of the notifications will not be sent until the end of March or first of April. For you parents who have had a teenager deciding on a college, you know it is not just about getting accepted, but also about the scholarships that come with the acceptance. We are totally and completely trusting God on the decision that will be made. 

I am “hanging in there” ( I seem to say that a lot). I have to say I am surprised at the many adjustments emotionally that I am still experiencing. All I can say is that the life lessons never stop, and just when I think I cannot possibly grow anymore God will surprise me with something else. I am still writing stories for FACES and will have another one up very soon. What an incredibly humbling experience it is to be able to share the stories of these courageous survivors. 

I find that I have been really pleading with the Lord for His guidance and direction in my life. I think Aaron and I both have been praying this for quite sometime now. We want to see that big neon sign or feel that undeniable prompting as to which direction He would have us take. We want to be obedient to His calling. What we are learning is that you may not always see that clear sign or feel the nudging to go in a certain direction and that you have to just rely strictly on your faith. 

We had the pleasure to hear Tim Tebow speak several nights ago, and one of the stories he shared was about having to choose which college team to play for and what a painstaking decision it was for him. He said he asked those closest to him what he should do? They would all respond with the same answer: “Tim, you will make the right decision, you always do.” 

He went on to say how he just really began to pray so much over this decision and was really just waiting on God to show him and lead him where he needed to be. He waited and wanted to see that big sign.

The day came when Tim’s decision needed to be made and literally minutes before he was due to make his announcement, he was still struggling with it. As we all know ultimately Tim made his decision to play football at the University of Florida. He said although he never really saw that “big sign,” he was glad, because he saw God actually leading him, not just showing him. (2 Corinthians 5:7!)

This may be true in many of your lives right now, as you are waiting and looking for that big, clear, sign that may not present itself to you the way that you want. But, your faith still needs to stay planted firmly and strongly, not based on what you can see, but what you know to be true. God is always there!  I picture it kind of like driving on a road with no road signs, yet I know I will make it to my destination. 


 In closing, I want to say thank you for continuing to stand along beside us, praying for and loving us through this unpredictable journey of re-building our lives and trying to find our "new normal". I am so grateful for my Healer who has taken my heart and breathed it back to life.


I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide--Mercy Me (The Hurt and the Healer)

Blessings,

Tammy 

December 12th, 2011

Happy holidays! It is about this time of year that the real hustle and bustle kicks in! I hope you all are pacing yourselves!

I have to say I was very touched and overwhelmed (in a good way) with all the feedback I received from my last blog about loneliness. I know I wrote on a subject that is very real and can be extremely painful. Please know I will pray for each of you that shared your very private struggles with me. You are indeed loved.

I was looking back at my December 2010 blogs and I noticed that I had only written one blog up until Christmas and then of course things changed very quickly after that. It was a blog that I posted on December 9th, 2010 regarding a visit to the Neurologist. It was a tough blog to write because of the news we received, but as I continued reading I realized the words I wrote then, are words that still hold true today, probably more than ever.

Here is a little nugget from that blog:

"We have to remain encouraged that in the eyes of the Lord, we are his beloved. Although, our flesh wants to question why, we do not want to open the door to any doubts of His plan for our lives. Honestly, that is very difficult right now. A devotion I read a while back said: Look to God for answers through His word, Bible study, and the counsel of mature Christians. We are humbled and grateful to know we have all of those resources available to us. I pray for the daily wisdom to use them." 

"This is a moment of darkness for us, but we will continue to cling to The Bright Morning Star, the One who gives light. Our prayer request for now would be for God's continued supernatural strength and peace to fill our hearts and homes during the holiday season, and to not let a moment go by that we do not appreciate and give thanks for."



Although my circumstances may be different now, my prayer request is still the same, God's continued strength and peace to fill our hearts and home during this holiday season, and to appreciate all God has given to us. 


I hope you will remain encouraged through this holiday season knowing that you are His beloved.  


Much love and many blessings always!


Tammy 

October 21st, 2011

The photograph above is a priceless one to me. I took it one morning when Nick was sitting in his recliner reading his Bible. He was so engulfed in what he was reading, he was unaware that I even took the picture.

Nick spent a lot of time in that burgundy recliner. I don't know why, but since losing him, we just would not or could not sit in it again. It took me a while to do it, but I finally let it go and now a very sweet lady and her husband are enjoying it. That makes me happy!

That chair was often a place where Nick found rest and comfort when he was weak and weary both physically and emotionally. I would see him sitting there many times just praying.

Then today as I was standing at the kitchen sink and I looked up and saw the empty space where that chair once was, the first thing that came to my mind was this sweet picture of Nick reading his Bible.

It's funny how you don't aways see the lessons in things until God is ready for you too. I smiled when I thought of how that recliner was kind of like Nick's altar, even when he wasn't able to go to church, it didn't stop him from sitting there praying or reading scriptures.

I thought God doesn't care where I choose to pray or read my Bible at. He just yearns for me to do it! He wants to spend that one on one time with me through prayer and through His word. It is always nice to have that quiet place, where there are no distractions and you can really just pour your heart out, but often times we do not have the convenience of doing that. Many times I find myself praying right in the midst of all the chaos. My favorite time to pray has become my morning walks, sometimes it's with the praise and worship music blaring on my iPod, and sometimes it's just me laying it all out to my Heavenly Father.

The memory of Nick praying from his chair reminds me that there are no limitations, guidelines or rules that should stop me from praying or spending time in God's word.

Prayer offers us the chance to express our thankfulness, our faith, our love and our hopes to God and through His word we are able to find guidance, peace, assurance and strength. Find your time and place to pray and spend some time reading His word, no matter where or when it is, God will be there!

Some have been to the mountain. I have been to my knees by the side of my bed.

~Robert Brault

Many Blessings,

Tammy