God is a Good Listener!

In times of grief, prayer is a comforting way of connecting with God. This connection can offer a safe space to express your deepest fears, anger, sadness, and questions. You don't have to be fancy with your words and you can show up messy anytime and anywhere.

He is the ultimate listener, who will bear the weight of any emotion and question, no matter how raw or unfiltered, and really you need to be as raw and unfiltered as you can during your healing journey. 

This unconditional acceptance can provide a sense of relief and understanding if you are mourning. And what better feeling then to lay it all out at the feet of someone you can trust and where there is no judgement.

                             Grief is a Teacher 

While grief is one of life's most challenging experiences, it can also be a profound teacher. I know you may not realize this right now in the midst of your grieving, but through the journey, you can learn invaluable lessons that will add to your personal growth.

Grief teaches us about the depth of our love and attachments.
Grief reveals our inner strength and resilience.
Grief teaches us the value of time.
Grief teaches us how to deepen our faith.
Grief teaches empathy and compassion for others and so much more.... 

One of lessons that I am most thankful for is that grief teaches us that, although someone has passed away, our relationship with them continues to grow in a different way. We learn to maintain a connection through memories, legacy, and the ongoing impact they have on our life.

This doesn't mean the pain disappears or that the journey is complete, but that you've found a way to carry your love and loss forward and that you are learning to live again

                                    Never Give Up 

God designed us with the capacity for a wide range of emotions, from amazing love to deep grief. But we are not meant to live in our grief forever. There is still an abundant life for you to live and people for you to love.

It will take time, but you will find that strength and space within yourself and your heart to engage with life gain. And embracing new relationships, experiences, and other forms of love will not diminish the love you hold for those who have passed, but instead as a testament to the impact they've had on your life, inspiring you to live fully as a tribute to their memory. Amen! 

I know you may not be anywhere near feeling any of this yet. But you will! The healing will come. I cannot reiterate this enough....there is no timeline, so be patient, kind and forgiving to yourself in the process

                            Hope during Grief 

Hope serves as a vital support during your grieving process. 🙏

It's the hope that you'll once again find it in your heart to love and trust after being betrayed. The hope for a return to health. The anticipation and hope of landing the ideal job. The hope that a memory of someone you've lost will bring a smile rather than a tear. The hope that you will be okay! Truly, the possibilities that hope brings during grief are endless.

Hebrews 6:19 offers us the reminder that "Hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls." That feeling of peace and calmness hope provides is like a gentle assurance, giving us a reason to press forward even in the hardest of times. ❤️

My friends, I urge you not to let go of hope. Hope doesn’t substitute for grief but intertwines with it, giving you the strength to press on and learn how to live again

                               God is already in your Grief

When navigating your grief, you might experience moments of deep anger, sometimes even directed towards God. This is a completely natural part of the process. I've been there myself. These feelings don't mean you're distant from God, nor do they mean your faith is weakening or a lessening of His love for you.

Consider how, even when you've been upset or angry with your children, your love for them didn't change in the slightest. In the same way, God's love for you remains unwavering.

I admit, there were moments when, unintentionally, others made me feel guilty about expressing my grief before God, likely due to a lack of understanding. It's important to remember that it's completely okay to lay your grief, pain, anger, and frustration before Him. He is already right there with you, in the midst of it all. His love is unconditional.

How I Navigated

I've stood at the doorstep of grief more times than I wish to recall. Yet, ironically, with each encounter, I've experienced growth in ways I never could have imagined.

With the loss of loved ones, relationships, family dynamics, terminal diagnosis's and at times my own health, etc.. life repeatedly seemed empty and unfinished. When reflecting on those times, I know without a doubt that it was the support of those around me, their unconditional love, endless prayers, and my unwavering faith that not only pulled me through but enabled me to flourish.

Without these things, survival might have been possible, but thriving would have certainly remained out of reach. This fuels my desire to help others facing similar battles with grief. My mission is not just to offer guidance through faith and compassion but also to help you rediscover how to Learn to Live Again

Different Grief

Grief can manifest in various forms throughout our lives, touching us deeply and uniquely with each experience. The loss might stem from the dissolution of a marriage, strained family dynamics, job loss, deteriorating health, receiving a daunting diagnosis, and so much more. The spectrum of grief is broad.

Regardless of its source, each loss carries a significant personal impact, and sets you on a journey towards healing. This process of navigating through grief can be complex, and varies greatly from one person to another.

Having a supportive network during these times—whether it's friends, family, a grief coach, or a supportive community—can greatly increase the healing process. Such support provides not just comfort but also guidance, understanding, and the reassurance that you are not alone in your journey.

Is God in your Grief?

Yes, God is very present in your grief! 🦋

1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us that He doesn't leave us to face our trials alone but provides a means to overcome them. One of the most profound ways He helps us through our grief is by calling us to comfort others, to create a cycle of support and compassion rooted in His love. I can personally testify that this works my friends! 

In the midst of your sorrow and pain, it's important to hold onto the promise found in Jeremiah 29:11. God has a plan for each of us, a plan for hope and a future, born out of His endless love. He vows to bring us through our grief, guiding us towards healing.

                                   No Timeline 

During my own personal journey, I experienced several stages of the grieving process and in no particular order. Depression was a much more prevalent part of my healing process than bargaining or anger. For others, however, such stages are necessary steps to acceptance. There is no handbook to grief, and no-one should ever feel the pressure to grieve in a certain way. The healing process is just as personal as the rest of your journey to that place of acceptance.

I encourage you to find peace in knowing that when you reach this place of acceptance, it doesn’t mean you forget about or stop grieving for your loved one. It simply means you are getting to a point where you are able to take in and process your grief, and that maybe you are ready to take those first steps to finding the “new normal” in your life.

We cannot predict how long we will grieve when we lose someone that we love so much, but the pain and sorrow begins to fade a little each day and that opens up some space in our hearts for all those good memories to start pouring in.

I can never stress enough to cling to the things that are most important. Faith, family, and friends can pull you from any pit, and before you know it, you are standing on your own again…and maybe even Learning to Live Again.

                               Memories that Last 

During my journey of learning to live again amidst grief—a journey that continues to this day in different ways—I would often reflect on the remarkable strength that my husband, Nick, showed consistently. Despite facing his most challenging days, he always managed to find reasons to be grateful and joyful, bearing witness to the goodness of God.

The following story, which I shared in a blog post on July 5, 2010, serves as a powerful reminder that, by anchoring our hope in God and counting our blessings, we can navigate through any challenge life throws our way.

“It seems lately everywhere we go people are striking up conversations with us.....they will ask Nick what happened (most people ask if he was in a car accident). Nick will tell them he has cancer and explains why he has to wear the neck brace.

But what blows me away is hearing him testify how God is working in our lives in so many ways. The miracles that we have seen take place so far. I am never more proud of him as I watch and listen when he speaks about the faith he has in God. I am truly in awe as I watch him, standing there, in that uncomfortable brace, fatigue from the radiation, knowing he is unsure about the future, but still testifying about the goodness, love and grace of our Heavenly Father. It was an awesome thing!” 

This memory is permanently engraved in both my mind and heart. Perhaps you, too, have cherished memories that remind you of the resilience and strength your loved one displayed. I pray they can/will  inspire you with the fortitude to persevere, to recognize your blessings, and to remain steadfast in your faith. 

                      Reaching Up and Reaching Out 

Following the loss of my husband to cancer in January 2011, I felt a deep calling to share my journey of caregiving and the path I've taken towards rediscovering how to "learn to live again." My hope has been to connect openly with others who are traveling down similar paths of physical, spiritual, and emotional healing.

I have since become a Certified Grief Coach, driven by a commitment to support individuals during their toughest moments with a foundation of faith and empathy. My combination of professional training and personal experience with grief provides me with the unique ability to guide others through their own grieving process. 

Reaching out for help is never easy, a challenge I personally faced while navigating my own journey of healing. However, learning the immense value of receiving support—especially from someone who has walked a similar path—is an incredible blessing. We are not meant to journey these times alone. --

When to See a Grief Coach

Deciding to see a grief coach is a personal choice that often depends on individual circumstances and how one is coping with loss. However, there are several situations or signs that might indicate it's a good time to consider seeking the support of a grief coach:

1. Feeling Overwhelmed by Grief: If your grief feels overwhelming and is significantly impacting your daily life, a grief coach can provide you with strategies and support to help you manage these intense emotions.

   
   

2. Struggling with Daily Functioning: If you find it challenging to perform routine tasks, go to work, or take care of yourself or your family due to your grief, it might be time to seek help.

   
   

3. Feeling Stuck or Unable to Move Forward: Grief can sometimes feel like an endless loop, preventing you from moving forward. A grief coach can help you find ways to navigate your grief journey and start taking steps forward.

   
   

4. Lack of Support Network: If you feel isolated in your grief or lack a support network of friends or family who understand what you're going through, a grief coach can offer a compassionate and understanding presence.

   
   

5. Difficulty Processing or Accepting the Loss: If you're having a hard time accepting the loss or finding meaning in life afterwards, a grief coach can guide you through these complex emotions.

   
   

6. Desire for Personalized Support: You might prefer the one-on-one support that a grief coach offers compared to a support group setting. A grief coach can provide personalized attention and tailor their approach to your specific needs.

   
   

7. Experiencing Complicated Grief: If your grief is complicated by factors such as guilt, unresolved issues with the deceased, or trauma, a grief coach can help you work through these complex emotions.

   
   

8. Anniversaries or Milestones: Certain times of the year, like the anniversary of the loss or during the holidays, can be particularly challenging. You might seek a grief coach around these times for additional support.

   
   

9. When You Feel Ready: Ultimately, the right time to see a grief coach is when you feel ready to do so. Everyone's grief journey is unique, and you are the best judge of when you need support. 

   
   

   
   

   
   
   

   
   

   
   

   Remember, seeking the help of a grief coach is a sign of strength and a proactive step towards healing. It's about giving yourself permission to grieve in your own way and time, with the support of someone who can guide you through the process.

                                 Peace during Grief 

I always seems to get more reflective around my birthday and a few days ago, a tender memory came into my thoughts, This memory took me back to a chilly evening in January 2011, when an extraordinary group of sisters in Christ gathered in the cozy chapel of the McGraw Hospice Center. Their purpose was to cover my husband and our family in prayer. That night was woven with threads of love, fellowship, prayer, and worship, creating a sweet moments that I will hold dear forever. The gratitude I felt to the outpouring of support that evening will be forever itched in my heart.

As I reflected on that night, I am reminded how this incredible peace embraced me during one of life's most challenging periods—a peace that soared beyond my grasp of understanding.

I pray for those grieving hearts, I humbly ask God to cover you with His peace. And though it may feel like it, you are NOT alone. You will find your way to joy again. You will find your way through the tears and learn to live again.