Wednesday, August 11, 2010

update Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

Late yesterday afternoon we were told Nick had to come to Mayo today for some additional labs and also an MRI of his spine (the part where the tumor is) at 4:30. Ordered by Dr. Pirris (neuro). We have not spoke with him in several weeks, so we are not sure what exactly is going on. We are hoping he will call us early tomorrow with the results of the MRI. We are thinking he wants to see if that tumor has grown (or shrunk) any. I will keep you posted on that as soon as I know something.

Nick did start his chemo pills this morning. He is on the lowest dose available. He did have nausea and an upset stomach. That stuff is strong. no matter what the dose is. We will just have to see if it tapers off. He has some anti-nausea medicine also that he is taking to help.

He will go see the therapist tomorrow at Mayo that deals with a lot of cancer patients. I really hope that they can put him on something to help the depression. Nick is pretty good about putting on a brave front for most of you. But in the private times, he cries a lot. He is such a manly man and to see him so sad and vulnerable breaks my heart. I think he is going through many stages right now. Anger, denial, maybe a little acceptance from time to time. Some days I feel helpless and do not know how to console him. I think there are times when only the good Lord above can wrap Nick tightly in His arms and give him the peace he needs.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast,because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3

There is no peace like spiritual peace. That calmness and serenity that covers you like a warm blanket. That's God's peace. He wants us to take comfort in that peace. Turning over all of our worries to Him. I consider it a sweet gift when my Heavenly Father gives me spiritual peace. When we submit our troubles to God, it shows Him we trust in and have faith in Him and He will restore us!!! I have experienced this many times in my own life.

Even though I am fortunate enough to experience those amazing times of spiritual peace.
I still have MY times. Times when I cry so much I don't think I could possibly shed another tear. My heart aches to see my husband go through this. To have to even imagine my life without him for one second makes me crumble inside. That's why I hold on to the one thing I know is strong enough to help me though this difficult faith in the perfect healer and restorer, Jesus Christ!

Our hearts are filled with love and gratitude for you all. We often talk about the special times we are able to share with friends and all the sweet memories we are making are priceless. Thank you for that gift. I will keep you posted.

Praying with Expectancy,

The Badidas

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