Lately Nicks days are filled with many tears. He says he it is so hard to fight the feeling of overwhelming sadness. I was so glad our first visit at Mayo today was with Dr. Shannon in Palliative Care. God bless that man, he is truly gifted in his field. He really helps with medications and trying to get the right mix of what will work for Nick. Along with an anti-depressant, he changed Nick's pain meds (Nick is having some discomfort now), he also increased his anxiety meds. It is hard for Nick to give into the fact that he will need to try and take medicine to help him with this emotionally. I am not a big fan of taking a lot of meds either, but watching him suffer like this is heart breaking and almost more than I can bear. Please pray that this will help him, so he is able to enjoy his life again.
Next we went to Dr Perdikis (wound care). The wound keeps retaining fluid because of the lack of healing (on the inside). They are trying to avoid having to surgically insert a drain. So for the next several weeks we will go to Mayo and have the wound drained (yes, it is painful). Please pray for no more fluid and the wound to completely heal.
I was thinking how the word "terminal" has changed our lives forever. I looked up the meaning yesterday and here is what is said 1. situated at the end, concluded 2. leading to death.
If you are living in this world without Jesus in your heart, terminal could mean finality to you, no hope, nothing to look forward to. But when you are living your life for Him, it means you can have eternal life in HIS kingdom, there is always hope, and you have SO much to look forward to.There is no end!!! I think it is one of the conversations Nick and I have the most. What will Heaven be like? Heaven will have a beauty beyond our imagination.
An entire city of transparent gold. The walls of the new city are precious jewels. The gates are twelve single pearls. The city itself and its streets are pure gold, yet like transparent glass. Revelation 21:21
Best of all, heaven with God and Jesus will be a place of love. God in tender love will wipe away all our tears (Revelation 21:4). The angels will rejoice as heaven fills with righteous Christians (II Peter 3:13). Those spirits who have hungered and have thirsted to humbly live with God; those with pure hearts; those who have willingly endured persecution; and those who have lived for God's peace, will live together in life and love forever and ever.
When I am ask how I deal with this everyday? This is what I think about. This is what gives me peace in my heart. To sit here and picture our Heavenly Father wiping away all of Nick's tears is all the comfort my soul needs. Through the everyday trials and the many tears we live in hope and assurance that the Lord will never leave us for a moment.
Thank you for your continued prayers for our family. God is always increasing our prayer life through the trials of others. Lifting up all of our sweet friends that need Gods healing and restoration right now. Praying for wisdom, discernment and understanding so that they endure what is being placed in their path. I am so humbled that the Lord has given me the opportunity to pray for so many.
In The Name of Jesus. Amen.