Nick seems to be doing pretty well since stopping the chemo. Appetite is better, he is starting to walk up the street again, looks better overall, getting that quick wit back! As you would expect we have some very good days and some not so good days. At lot of what is going on now is much more on the emotional level rather than physical. It is hard not to wonder what might be coming, but yet try to live each day the best way you can. You definitely have to try and find that balance..... we live in what I call God's supernatural peace bubble!! It is a wonderful thing.
I have something to share with you that I feel God has placed on my heart. I made a statement to someone several days ago, that this journey was our "cross to bear". I have heard people say that before, but this time.....those words really pierced my heart., and I praise God that they did. There will always be suffering and sadness, but nothing like what Jesus endured, He had the ultimate Cross to bear. He suffered the most and all for OUR sins. When I picture Christ nailed to that Cross, I know our pain and suffering pales in comparison. 1 Corinthians 15:3 For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance : that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures.
In our flesh, it is hard to understand why we have to go through certain things in life, we may never know the true answers until we are called home to be with our Savour. It is hard for me to explain to you, that although we are having to endure this horrible disease, God is using it to change us, refine us and renew us into His children ( I still have a long way to go!!). Sometimes people will ask me "how can you say your thankful?" and I reply " how can say I am not?" I am blessed and thankful that through the worst of circumstances, there is a loving, merciful, comforting and forgiving Lord that will never leave me.
OK picture this.... You know those makeover stories, where they show you the before and after pictures of someone who has had a beauty makeover? That's how I picture myself...before Jesus, my hair all tangled, no make-up, and a big, mean frown, after Jesus, perfectly shiny straight hair, flawless make-up, and one big ole happy grin!! Because HE is transforming me from the inside out. Who needs a makeover?
You all are amazing and we love you dearly.