March 27th, 2011

Spring is here!! I think it makes us all feel better to have a little sun shining down on us. This week is spring break for most of our kids. Aaron needed this break really bad. I do not think he has taken a breath since returning back to school right after Nick's memorial. He just needs some plain old rest and down time. We are planning a few small things , but we do not want to be on any schedules. The all day crying days seem to be coming a little less frequent. God provides us with the everyday comfort even through the grief. Someone told me that hardest part is trying to find your "new normal" Amen to that!! I always pray for God to lead me down the right path....I just have to be willing to take those first steps and trust Him. Going back to Church last week was a big step, but so worth it. I wasn't sure how I would feel going back without Nick. I give my sweet Lord so much praise for filling me with His strength that morning. Just seeing those familiar faces that I haven't seen in so long, and getting a lot of hugs was soooo good! The physical part of the last year has caught up with me as well. It is a wake up call from the Lord to start taking care of myself now, eating right, exercising, and rest. We should not take our physical health for granted we need to take care of our bodies. I am also picking up some old routines of things that I used to enjoy. All baby steps, but all in the right direction. Staying in God's word is essential for my everyday comfort.Relying and trusting in God fully in the midst of all the uncertainty helps me feel safe, taken care of, and not so lonely. It is time to put on my big girl pants and know that God will help me find that new normal in my life I just need to listen, let go(surrender) and let Him guide me down that path to peace and happiness. You know that everyday, I think of my sweet man. So many reminders especially with Aaron but I am thankful for that. So many of you sharing stories and thoughts with me about your times with Nick and I appreciate that, makes me smile! Love you all and pray your lives are filled with God's blessings. How GREAT is His LOVE for us!! In His Name, Tammy