Wednesday March 16th, 2011

Philippians 4:8

And now, dear brothers and sisters,one final thing.Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about the things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

It is so easy not to think about any of the things in that verse when you are grieving. It is a very sensitive time because you become, what Nick used to call HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired).
I am not hungry in the physical way, but I do hunger for things in the spiritual sense. I would say I have reached the angry stage in some ways, which is progress on the grieving scale. I don't have to tell you the loneliness my heart feels from missing my sweet man, and tired well that is a given these days. I would say I do not feel all of things at once,but I do experience them separately and just one of these things can steal your peace and joy if you let it. Honestly, there are days I have succumb to one or more of them and it is not pretty!

This is a painful process. I want to grieve openly and honestly with you, which is something I am not used to doing. I usually allow a little pride to get in the way and put up the walls and only allow my friends & family to see the strong side of me, but then how would you see God work in my life to bring me through to the other side of this grief if I continue to do that? And when I think about the things that are excellent and worthy of praise I think about my Heavenly Father and how He continues to comfort me and gives me hope for a new life.

When I stay focused on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely & admirable, there is no greater joy and peace I feel. Staying focused is the challenge you always have to be on guard because the enemy is looking for a way in, a moment when you are HALT......that's why scripture is so important in our daily lives. When we fill those vacant holes up with His word there is no room for any of the enemies junk! Reading the word is like getting a little spiritual refreshment everyday.

Please continue to pray for our family as we get through this grieving process and we WILL get through it I know. One of the Beth Moore Bible studies I did a while back...I think it was Daniel.....she said something like this "God can bring you through a fire and you won"t even smell like smoke." Amen!

Thank you for sticking around and being on this part of the journey with us and for letting me speak openly and honestly about my feelings and emotions. I pray you see God's hand in every blog that I write.

In His name,

Tammy