Tuesday March 29th, 2011 was a very special day for a couple of reasons. First one being it would have been my Mother's 67th birthday. She is dearly missed everyday. Secondly, we(the kids and I)choose to spread Nick's ashes yesterday.
Nick requested that his ashes be spread over the water. He did not give us a specific place, so I waited until the perfect place came to mind and it did. When Nick and I were dating and even after we were married we used to go to Memorial Park in Riverside and walk along the river for hours. Nick even surprised me with a picnic a time or two(he was such a romantic!). I thought it would be extra special to do this on my Mom's birthday. I know Nick and my Mom would have loved that.
So it was planned at sunset yesterday (even though there wasn't any sun)Me, Aaron and Erika would find the perfect spot along the riverbank and celebrate this wonderful man that we so desperately miss. I brought with us three white balloons to represent the three of us and a blue balloon for Nick and three red roses as a sign of our love for Nick.
We found the most perfect spot. The ashes we were spread and as we watched them dissolve into the current we pick the petals from our roses, and watched them follow behind, it was like they stayed in a single line one petal after the next. The sweetest part to me was letting the balloons go. That blue balloon went straight up, flying quickly, as the others followed behind they never seperated. It seemed like we stood there for a very long time just watching those balloons, especially the blue one, until we could no longer see them. Can I just say it felt like we were the only three people on earth at that moment, not one distraction, so peaceful and so joyful.
Afterwards we enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, telling stories, laughing and just soaking it all in. There were moments I would think Nick has to be smiling so big right now! On our way home we passed by the Cummer Art Museum, another place Nick and I enjoyed visiting frequently and wouldn't you know it Tuesday is family night, free to the public from 6-8pm. It was meant to be! We walked the gardens there that are simply breath taking, looked at some art and just enjoyed every minute together.It was perfect! I can honestly say it was the first time in a very long time that the laughter felt real, and the load felt a little lighter (even if it was only for a short time). I felt like we had done exactly what Nick would have wanted.
It is nice to know we have a place to go on those special occasions or just whenever we want too and spend time laughing,crying, or just to sit quietly and think about all the good times.
Praise, praise, praise to the ONE who brings us peace in the storm, light in the darkness, laughter through the tears, and healing through the grief.
Love,
Tammy
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