Have you ever seen that commercial where people talk about having an "AH-HA" moment? Well, I feel like I have been having some of those lately. In is incredible to watch how God is changing the path of many things in my life and when I see it happening I am like ah-ha I get it Lord!
There is joy in our hearts again, real joy. There is a whole life yet to experience and God wants us to do just that and I know Nick would too. The grieving process changes as you continue forward finding the new way. You will always miss the sweet one you have lost, you will always feel those moments of sadness, it never leaves you, but it becomes different. Praise God for healing and renewal of our hearts and our minds!!!
I guess I am kind of at the point of.... is it time to start putting some things
(Nick's clothes, personal things) up? I think I am getting close to it. Nick did make me promise to keep a few of his favorite t-shirts to sleep in. I smile just thinking about him saying that and how incredibly sweet it is. Everything has a memory attached to it and that is very painful at times to see it all day after day.
I will say I do feel some guilt with packing up things. Although, I know they are just that "things" I cannot help but feel like I am packing away the last 19 years. Then I think those memories are MY memories,they are forever etched in my heart and packing his things away will not change that (ah-ha). I feel like it is another step in the healing process.
I will know when that time is just right. I continue to trust in the Lord to take me through this one day at time. Everything I think that I need to understand...I don't. He will equip me and get me through my days victoriously.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
God's command for me (and you) is to be joyous and free.....and I don't want to let Him down.
Gone but NEVER forgotten....Nicholas Paul Badida.
Sweet Blessings Always,
Tammy
God is holding you in his arms as you and Aaron walk through the grieving process. I often think of the song Blessed Assurance during a loss like this. Blessed assurance that you will someday be reunited, as the song says a foretste of glory divine, blessed assurance that He who created you, Aaron,and Nick is able to bear every burden and heal every hurt in your heart. Continuing to make the most of the time God has given you and Aaron without Nick is never forgetting Nick. He lives on in the sweet memories you have.
ReplyDeleteLove you all, Donna