Tuesday, April 19, 2011

April 19th, 2011

I woke up yesterday morning just not feeling myself and that was strange to me as the last three weeks have felt like the start of real healing and renewal for us both physically and emotionally. I found it hard to feel as motivated as I had been. I realized I was feeling that sadness that sneaks up you and grips your heart. Something had prompted a memory of last Easter in my mind. A picture of me and Nick on Easter day it was the last time I remember him looking so healthy and being so happy.

Memories are a weird thing. At the time we took that picture we were so happy and although I am grateful to have that memory it is a painful reminder of things especially how much Nick is missed, but am I thankful for that moment in time? You better believe I am!! People tell you holidays are the toughest when you lose someone....they are right. I wanted to share with you because I think it is important to build as many happy memories as you can. It is all the simple things we already know, like don't sweat the small stuff, cherish every moment, be joyful the list goes on and on.... That one picture shows me how precious life really is, it was taken just one year ago on Easter. One year and look how much our life has changed.

I also realized that the physical toll that this has taken on me is far from over as fatique seems to creep up on me when I am not looking!! It will take some time to completely feel like ME again, and I am trusting my Heavenly Father for an even better me! It is an amazing thing that God is a restorer of so many things and that He has already begun to re-build things in my life and in ways I could never even imagine.

As Easter's come and go now they will be different for us in the sense we will be missing Nick, but the real meaning of Easter should never change and that is Jesus Christ's victory over death and that His resurrection symbolizes the eternal life that is granted to all who believe in Him.

Have a blessed and happy Easter.


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