No Timeline

If you're grieving, give yourself permission to do so on your own terms. There's no deadline for when you should be "back to normal." Your grief is a testament to your love, and navigating through it is a deeply personal process.

Embrace the support of those who understand, and try to extend patience and compassion to yourself as you journey through your grief, however long it may take.

Given the unpredictable nature of grief, having support is crucial. This support can come in various forms: a compassionate friend who listens, a support group of those who've experienced similar losses, or a grief coach or counselor who provides professional guidance. 

The key is finding a safe, comfortable space where your feelings can be expressed and validated, regardless of where you are in your grief journey.

                       Learning to Live Again 

When asked what sets Learning to Live Again Grief Coaching apart from other grief coaching services, I often compare the journey through grief to navigating white water rapids. Imagine you're facing the turbulent waters for the first time. Would you prefer a guide who has not only studied the rapids but has personally navigated through their twists and turns, feeling every jolt and splash, and emerged resilient on the other side? Their firsthand experience equips them not just with knowledge of the path but with a deep empathy and understanding of the fear, uncertainty, and courage it takes to make the journey. That's what I offer at Learning to Live Again Grief Coaching.

My coaching is built on the foundation of personal experience with grief, coupled with faith and unending compassion. It's this combination that makes my approach unique. I don't just guide you from an outside perspective; I navigate the journey with you, sharing in the pains and the breakthroughs, because I have been there myself. The journey of grief is deeply personal and unique, yet it is a strange, but wonderful thing, how pain and suffering can bind two people together. 

This journey might seem daunting now, like facing those white water rapids for the first time, but with a seasoned guide who's navigated this course before, you'll find your way through. Together, we'll journey towards not just Learning to Live Again, but embracing life with a newfound strength and hope. 

"He helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God. Just as we have a share in Christ's many sufferings, so also through Christ we share in God's great help."  2 Cor 1:4-5

A Refresh

There are many days your soul needs to be relieved and refreshed (really everyday!). It is not always easy to clear your mind from life's daily grind, especially when you are grieving.

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

This verse just hits different for me now. I have read, written and prayed that verse many times before. God does not want us to feel so weary, burdened and wore out. Not only does He want us to rest; He insists on it!

When we are going through trials in our lives we need to try and to keep ourselves renewed, physically, mentally and spiritually. But gosh that is just SO hard at times, especially when the trials last a long time and the outcome sometimes is heart breaking.

Ask God to help you find those moments of reprieve, even if they are short, when you can rest your body and mind. It is His desire for us. Praying you will find those moments on your grief journey.

                                     Widow Resources 

Resources for widows can vary widely depending on the specific needs, location, and circumstances of each individual. However, there are several categories of resources that can provide substantial support. Below, I'll outline some of these key resources, including organizations, services, and tools that can help widows navigate through their grief, legal matters, financial challenges, and the journey towards healing and rebuilding their lives.

Emotional and Social Support

1. **Support Groups and Grief Specialists**

    -Local grief specialists**: Many community centers, hospitals, and churches offer grief support.

    -Online support communities**: Websites and social media platforms host various support groups where you can share experiences and advice. 

2. **Hotlines and Helplines**

   - National grief support hotlines**: Organizations like the SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) National Helpline offer free, confidential help for those facing grief.

Financial Assistance and Planning

1. **Financial Planning Services**

   -Nonprofit organizations**: Some nonprofits offer financial counseling specifically designed for widows, helping with budgeting, estate planning, and investment management.

   - Professional financial advisors**: Specialists in estate planning and financial management for widows can offer personalized advice.

2. **Government Benefits**

   - Social Security Administration (SSA)**: Widows may be eligible for survivor benefits based on their spouse's earnings record.

   - Veteran benefits**: If the deceased spouse was a veteran, the widow might be eligible for benefits through the Department of Veterans Affairs.

Legal Assistance

1. **Legal Aid Societies**

   - Free or low-cost legal services can help with estate settlement, wills, and other legal matters widows might face.

2.  **Bar Association Referral Services**

   - Local or state bar associations often offer referral services to attorneys who can assist with probate and other legal issues.

Employment and Education

1. **Career Counseling and Job Training**

   - Organizations and community colleges often provide career counseling, resume workshops, and job training programs for those looking to re-enter the workforce or change careers.

2. **Scholarships and Grants**

   - Some organizations offer scholarships and grants specifically for widows seeking to further their education or vocational skills.

 Health and Wellness

1. **Healthcare Services**

   - Community health centers and clinics can provide health services on a sliding scale for those without insurance or with limited financial resources.

2. **Wellness and Mental Health Programs**

   - Local YMCAs, community centers, and wellness apps offer programs focused on physical and mental health, including yoga, meditation, and fitness classes tailored to individuals dealing with grief.

 Housing Assistance

1. **Housing Counseling Agencies**

   - HUD-approved housing counselors can provide advice on buying a home, renting, defaults, foreclosures, and credit issues.

2. **Assistance Programs**

   - Programs like the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) offer various forms of assistance, including affordable rental housing for low-income individuals.

 Networking and Community Building

1. **Social Groups and Clubs**

   - Joining clubs or groups based on interests or hobbies can be a great way to build a new support network and find camaraderie.

2. **Volunteer Organizations**

   - Volunteering can offer a sense of purpose and community connection, which can be particularly healing during the grieving process.

 Online Resources and Tools

1. **Websites and Blogs**

   - Many websites and blogs like this one are dedicated to helping you with your grief, offering stories, advice, and resources to help navigate the journey and get you on the path to Learning to Live Again.

When seeking out these resources, it's important for widows to consider their unique situation and needs. Many organizations and services are tailored to specific aspects of grieving, whether it's coping with grief, managing finances, or building a new life. 

                                   A Grief Survivor 

You will become a grief survivor! You are already on your way.

You will find the strength to do things that just a short time ago seemed impossible. There will be a moment that you start to realize you are feeling sadness and anxiety a little less. You will begin to embrace the thoughts and memories with enjoyment and laughter. The holidays will eventually sting a little less and new traditions will be born.

This journey you are on is not for the weak. It takes immense courage to forge ahead every hour, minute, and second of every day. But you are doing it and it maybe it looks messy, but it should.....it's grief.

You will truly begin to understand that every healing moment happens with time...in God's timing. And all this while you are being transformed in beautiful ways you never thought possible.

You my friend, have become a grief survivor. - Learning to Live Again Grief Coaching

Helping Others

Perhaps you know someone that is experiencing a difficult time right now in their lives. Please reach out to them. I know sometimes it can feel uncomfortable to do it, but I can promise you as someone who has been the receiver of countless kind gestures, especially during my own grief journey, it is always a blessing and will never be unappreciated. Learning to Live Again Grief Coaching

https://www.facebook.com/learning.to.live.again.grief.coaching

                                          Nuggets of Joy 

As with any challenge you face in your life, there are good and bad days. On the bad days, I try and find what I call my “nuggets” of joy. Sometimes they can be big ones, but often it is the small finds that brings that immediate peacefulness that your soul longs to have.

I encourage you to look for and find your “nuggets,” particularly on the bad days. Find some good stable, emotional support. Surround yourself with people that want to lift you up and encourage you daily.

You can easily become very guarded with your time, and you have to be careful not to isolate yourself too much. Share your joyful daily finds with your loved ones, and it can bring them some much needed encouragement as well. You never know, they may have a few of their own to share with you too! During my journey I can remember the times that I was most joyful and content were the times that my husband’s smile was the biggest, no bigger nugget. 🦋🦋🦋

 

                                                    HALT

Philippians 4:8 "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about the things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

It is so easy not to think about any of the things in that verse when you are grieving. It is a very sensitive time because you become, what Nick used to call HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired).

Not hungry in the physical way, but hungering for things in the spiritual sense. You may have reached the anger stage in some ways, which is progress on the grieving scale and I know the loneliness your heart feels from missing your loved one. I have felt that tiredness you are feeling. You may not feel all of things at once, but you can experience them separately and just one of these things can steal your peace and joy if you let it.

This is a painful process.

The importance of staying focused on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely & admirable is the amazing peace you will feel. Staying focused is the challenge! You always have to be on guard because the enemy is looking for a way in, a moment when you are HALT......that's why scripture is so important in our daily lives. When we fill those vacant holes up with His word there is no room for any of the enemies junk! Reading the word is like getting a little spiritual refreshment everyday. Learning to Live Again Grief Coaching

Hang in there my sweet friends. You will be able to breathe again, laugh again, and live again.

Navigating the Hard Stuff

Part of grief coaching is helping you navigate through the "administrative" side of things as well.

Who do I contact for what? My loved one can no longer work due to their illness, what resources are available to me? I am recently widowed, what do I need to do first, etc...? You may simply need help just prioritizing things. Everyone’s situation is going to differ in this area.

As a grief coach and someone who has been through this very thing, I can help you put together a practical plan to tackle what may feel overwhelming, especially when you are grieving.

As we go through this time together you may feel a range of emotions, and thats okay! Whether you are seeking comfort, understanding, or simply looking to get support to handle the everyday things, know that you are not lone and as a grief coach my goal is to provide you with support, empathy, and help you back on the path to Learning to Live Again.

https://www.facebook.com/learning.to.live.again.grief.coaching/

Always Give Thanks!

Having a bad day doesn't mean you have any less faith!

Anyone who has suffered a loss in their life knows what I am talking about when I say this, you lose a part of ourself when that happens. And honestly sometimes, it is just plain hard to be grateful during this type of struggle.

But the truth is, it's the blessings in our life (big or small) that are very things that can bridge that grieving gap day to day.

Years ago, during a sermon the Pastor asked the congregation to take a deep breath in and then let it out....then he said, "Now, that was on credit!" That brought back the memory of Jan 29th, 2011 and seeing my husband take his last breath. I was quickly reminded of how grateful I needed to be for the blessing of my own health and the health and protection of my family....and that stuck!

Through the heartache, through the tears, the blessings are still there my friends, the small nuggets of joy that will help ease the pain, if only temporarily. Identify them, claim them and be thankful for them. Learning to Live Again Grief Coaching

1 Thessalonians 5:16 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances

Just Different

One of the most common questions during grief is, "Will it get easier?" Yes! It will get easier in many ways, but I think more than that, it just becomes different.

I encourage you to let God mold and use you during your healing process. Let Him help you to become better, not bitter, and to grow and not become stagnant.

The enemy will want to rob you of your joy in anyway possible, but God is ever-present and wants you to flourish, especially through the pain. HE is the one constant throughout all of this. Although, there may be times when you feel you have drifted a little farther from Him that you would like too, know He is never away from you.

Hang in there my friends and please reach out if you need support. 🙏🙏

Some Days are Really Tough

Valentine's Day can be a difficult day of grieving for a person who has lost a loved one. For some this may be their first Valentine's day without their loved one.

Remember that the happiness you experienced with your loved one belongs to you forever. The memories created are yours to keep, hold close and share.

Part of Learning to Live Again after loss is creating new traditions that honor the memory of the person you've lost while also creating space for new experiences and connections. As time goes on your heart will open up to these possibilities.

But this year you may choose to simply grieve and that is okay. Grief is a complex and individual process, and people navigate it differently. Being patient with yourself is an important aspect of the journey.

Whatever you decide I hope that you dedicate some time to self-care and know the God's love is always there, through the tears, the grief, and the healing.